


An Average Day

by neosaiyanangel



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Community: Kim Possible Slash Haven, Crazy, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Paranoia, Psychoanalysis, Psychology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-18 02:11:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16986162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosaiyanangel/pseuds/neosaiyanangel
Summary: Just an average day (more like days, but who's counting?) in the life of a supergenius mad scientist.





	1. An Average Day

A merry whistle danced out of the mouth of the blue mad scientist who was working his tools with a measure of glee that most would deem ludicrous. Drakken would have just laughed at them and told them that they're idiots for not seeing the joy in simply creating something from scratch, something that you can call your own and that no one could take from you.

When he was in his lab working on one of his brilliant inventions or ideas, it was easy to let his mind go on automatic. Nothing could touch him when he was working his magic on nucleotides, organic molecules, or even a basic motherboard that went into his battle robots. It was _his_ world. All his. Nothing could get to him when he was working.

Drakken sighed as the last little chemical reaction played out. It would take a few more weeks for the batch to germinate, but it would be worth it! A new strain of mutant plants, all tied to his will! No one would be able to laugh at _that_ bit of genius! And he'd worked it out so his scheme wouldn't fail like Dementor's did, what with his plants becoming rebelling teenagers and ditching him.

Yes, Drakken was untouchable when he was working.

_They're all laughing at you_

It was after he finished when he had trouble.

Drakken grit his teeth at the voice that spoke just to his left. It was very annoying, to _once again_ be reminded that he was the butt of everyone's jokes. He knew the stupid thing was right. They tended to be.

He was never really sure what 'they' even were. Little voices that crawled out of nowhere and told him things. Most of what they said was undeniably true. Some of it _sounded_ right but, upon thought or evidence, were found to be wrong. And then there was the Voice.

It had been a few weeks since the last time he'd heard it, to his relief. Drakken didn't know what or who the Voice was, but whoever it was it scared him to death… After he recovered from the ordeal of being under Its control, anyway.

It was like a mind control chip without the chip. Whispering yet booming in his head the Truth. The Truth was different than the truth; It was undeniable, no matter what evidence you had that proved the contrary. Drakken could never stop himself from listening to the Truth and acting accordingly.

The last time led to him to try and kill everyone on the planet with Warmonga's help. That had been bad for everyone involved, as he'd realized once he had a few day's distance from the incident.

He shook his head from the unfortunate revery and let loose a short villainous laugh at the success of his ongoing experiments. Skeptical emerald eyes lifted from a magazine to stare at him with the usual unspoken question of "Are you serious?"

Which he answered with his usual grunt that replied to that with "Of course I am!"

He almost fell into a giggle fit as he realized that he and Shego knew each other well enough to even have that kind of nonverbal communication. While he still held some of her betrayal when she continually left him in prison against her, there was no taking away their years of working together. They could read each other like an open book.

Maybe that's why she kept wandering off. Reading the same book over and over got boring after a while, even if it was on the multiple uses of infrared spectroscopy. Maybe he should get her some new reading material.

_Everyone would be better off if you were dead_ a voice noted from behind him on the right.

Now _that_ one was easy to refute. Stupid voice always forgot about Mother! While she had been disappointed with him being a villain, Mother had made it clear that she still loved and needed him.

It didn't really take away from the fact that it was right in regards to _everyone else_ , but they didn't matter nearly as much as Mother did.

"So Doc, you gonna let me in on whatever your silly little scheme is that you're working on?" Shego suddenly asked from behind her magazine. That surprised Drakken; Shego normally didn't bother asking until after he'd initiated the first steps to the endgame of a plan.

"It's elementary, my dear Shego," he said grandly, letting his voice boom a little in the open area. It made him feel like a performer putting on a show, and he would be cursed if he didn't play it up to fit the part. It was a shame he didn't have a silly-looking hat or curved pipe to use at the moment, but that didn't matter so much. Pointing to the pressurized tube of suspended seeds, Drakken announced, "With these evil seeds that I am making with my _own genius_ , I shall produce an army of completely obedient super-powered plants!"

"...evil seeds?" The tone knocked the wind out of his sails. He fumbled with words, grunting, trying to recover mentally as she got up and walked over to harass him at a shorter distance.

"Yes Shego, _evil seeds_. These are not any kind of generic, bland seed you see at the store," Drakken finally managed to explain testily. "They are being specifically crafted for performing villainous acts!"

"I see," she nodded, her eyes clearly telling him that this was an amazingly stupid plan. Not that she was going to stop at that when she could really rub it in and get some more laughs. "And you're building a plant army."

" _Yes_ , a _plant army_." Whenever she picked a plan apart like this piece-by-piece, it meant that there was something fundamentally wrong with it. But he had no idea what could be wrong with this plan! It was _perfect_!

"Uh-huh. And you think you can pull it off where Dementor couldn't?" she asked plainly.

Drakken snapped, "Of course I can! I've already accounted for the part where his plan failed." He found himself glaring at the ground and balling his fists at his side as he thought about that smug jerk of a villainous nemesis he had. "His plan was stupid, anyway."

"How is yours any different than Dementor's, or that Seymour guy and his alien plant monster, or that guy that tried to trap all the pipe exhausts in New York with the red biting flowers-.."

"Because I will do it _better_ ," Drakken interrupted with a growl, his patience wearing very, very thin. Shego seemed to catch on to that fact as, instead of continuing to harangue him on it, she shrugged.

"Whatever floats your boat, Doctor D. Just remember that I _told you so_ when you try to pull this off and fail just like all the other villains did." Shego, the woman of little faith in her employer, turned and strolled back over to her tanning bed.

_**She is going to betray you again** _

Drakken froze up, his breath catching in his throat as the Voice spoke to him. Part of his mind wondered for a split second what It was talking about, but that was quickly shushed by the rest of him paying rapt attention to the words and immediately latching on to what the Voice _must_ be referring to.

Yes, it was true. Shego was going to inevitably betray him again. It was in her very nature, and she had done it several times before.

_**She will ruin you if you let her** _

Shego would ruin him, as she had many times in the past. The Smarty Mart plot just the other day spoke volumes to her being the key to his failures. Why did he bother to keep her around when all she did was thwart him?

_**She is working with someone else against you** _

Suddenly it was obvious. Shego was clearly a double-agent, likely a plant by Global Justice or some other good guy organization to keep him from succeeding. To keep people laughing at him, to keep his genius from being recognized. How could he have missed it? It was so blatantly obvious that he was surprised that she hadn't just outright pulled out a sign saying 'I'm purposely messing up your plans'.

But…

_**You need to stop her** _

His mind choked at that, splitting with a great deal of strain over the thought. The way the Voice said it… The intent was clear. If he didn't kill Shego, she would never stop making him fail.

Small parts of him protested that killing her wouldn't be necessary, begging that they simply fire her and get a villain restraining order or something.

Those parts were clearly Wrong.

The biggest problem was _how_. How could he manage to kill Shego before she caught on and alerted her organization that he had caught on to their charade?

She was too wary for poisoned food, not after that debacle with the sentient pancakes.

She'd already shown she would survive attack by vicious animal if her run-in with Senior's alligators or whatever they were was any indication. At least, she would survive long enough to send a message to someone like her superiors.

Most of his death rays were too obvious for him to set up and fire before she noticed. He never had gotten a handle on shrinking his destructive designs down to a handheld size. The only weapons he'd ever really managed to make that small were the electro-rods, and those had been planned for a specific scheme to-..

A scheme.

A plan began to form in his head. Shego may not die at his hands, but she _could_ be killed going on a mission that she didn't realize was as dangerous as it was. She was one of the best, it was true. Even the best have a limit, though. It would work out _flawlessly_. Shego wouldn't die by his hand, oh no. She would be taken out by someone else. It would never come back to him save for the idea of him being incompetent at scouting out places to steal from, and it wasn't like people didn't already think that anyway.

Oh yes. He would send Shego after something that was so guarded that only a supergenius plot like the one he'd had with the Neutronolizer had any chance at succeeding to get the item in question. And she would be none the wiser!

Now all he needed to do was find something that would be plausible for his designs…

**DSDSDSDSDS**

" **DRAKKEN!** "

The furious howl rang clearly through the lair, shaking Drakken from his celebratory meal at having thwarted a dangerous enemy spy. A meal that was now obviously premature.

He hopped up from the evil living room's couch and tentatively made his way toward the hangers. That was the only place that she could have come in. The conclusion was proven right when he came face-to-face with a smoldering, furious Shego.

Realization rang clear when he registered that 'smoldering' really was the correct word to use. Her suit was badly damaged in some places, the right sleeve hanging off and stained with what appeared to be blood. One of her eyes was half-closed, and her face was grimacing through clear pain. Smoke still rose from the suit in various spots.

"What happened?" he asked, trying very, very hard to sound innocent.

"McHenry laser grids," she grunted, apparently trying to catch her breath from her intense scream a mere minute ago.

Drakken snorted, taunting, "You can't handle a simple little grid system? You do realize that Kim Possible had an easy time-.."

"McHenry laser grid _ **s**_ ," Shego snarled, emphasizing the multiple this time. "They were _layered_."

"Oh." Some of his disappointment at his plan to kill her failing leaked through, giving his reply a veneer of genuineness.

" _And_ ," she said, her anger building again, "There was a gigantic freaking sentry robot. Called itself Cain. It had a freaking _lava flamethrower_. I couldn't even punch through the armor. I'm lucky I made it out of there in one piece."

"There there," Drakken said, patting her on the shoulder that wasn't bloodied. "We'll get them next time."

"'There there'? ' _We'll_ get them _next time_ '? Is that _all_ you have to say?! I nearly _died_!" Shego yelled, her hands igniting from habit and her face twisted in outrage.

"Well, I don't know!" Drakken shrugged, unsure of what to say to keep her from beating him senseless. "I didn't think-.."

"No. You didn't." Her flames cut out. Shego looked down at him with a strange expression. It was completely foreign on her face. Before he could say anything more, she turned right back around and hopped into the hovercar.

"I'm going on vacation. Do _not_ bother me." Her tone made it clear that there was no negotiating that point.

Drakken watched her fly off, contemplating the strange expression on her face.

She almost looked _hurt_.

...she was a very good agent.

It was okay. She hadn't caught on that he knew the truth. He could try to rid himself of the pesky spy another time, with another scheme of some sort. Drakken was a genius, after all. This was a paltry little problem next to trying to conquer the world. Next time he would get her.

**DSDSDSDSDS**

It was several days later that Drakken found himself leaning over the toilet, losing the contents of his stomach as he flashed back over the time since a little before Shego went on vacation again.

What had he been _thinking_? What was _wrong_ with him? How could he think Shego, of all people, would be some kind of double-agent? She was far too strong-willed and upfront to bother with the whole 'undercover' thing, not to mention that, that, _whatever_ that was that she displayed when she'd come back from the mission.

His insides flushed cold and he began to gag again as he thought about how close he'd come to losing her, to losing his best, _only_ friend to a half-baked plot that wouldn't have succeeded even if things went perfectly.

The ants were tearing open and crawling out of the bottom of his forearm, skittering about and setting up to tear at him more. He was too preoccupied with this to pay attention to them. They could go ahead and tear him apart.

Drakken managed to swallow the latest attempt to evacuate his stomach. He knew that Shego was safe. The attempt to get the doohickey failed. And it didn't make sense; if Shego had died and not gotten the thingamabob, how would he have made his plot work? It would've automatically failed!

No, wait. That's right. That wasn't true. If he had lost her, the plot would have succeeded. That had _been_ the plot, after all.

Stomach acid bit at the back of his throat as he again vomited. There was nothing left to throw up save for the little bit of digestive fluids, yet he did all the same.

_You know she's laughing at you_

That one was easy to squash with the truth. It was obvious. Of _course_ she was laughing at him. She was Shego! She laughed at everyone equally. He just happened to be the biggest target since he was around her the most.

Drakken hated this. These stupid voices, the bugs crawling on his skin, _all of it_. None of it made sense!

He could be crazy. Except he couldn't be crazy. Crazy people don't function, and end up in those hospitals in cages and such taking medicine that muddled their minds and made them stupid. He couldn't be crazy because…

Because…

Drakken wasn't crazy.

After a few more minutes of waiting, trying to keep his stomach from rebelling any more, he deemed himself capable of making it to the lab without another stomach-related incident. It would be fine. Everything was fine. The… The thing didn't work, and Shego was fine, and everything would be hunky-dory.

Drakken smashed his arm against the rocky wall as he finally left his room, making sure to roll it around and get rid of the ants that were skittering around under his coat. A few quick scraps against the jagged parts to really scratch it up helped to alleviate the crawling feeling.

He tiptoed into the lab, hoping against hope that Shego was still on vacation. The answer came when he was about five steps in by a ball of plasma blasting him hard into the wall.

The universe was never on his side.

"Ouch!" Drakken cried, prying himself off the wall. He had only just stood up when he came face-to-face with a calm Shego, which set off all _kinds_ of alarm bells in his head.

"So, _Drakken_ …" Her sharp eyes seemed to stab him, and he knew that he deserved it. Drakken's stomach flopped about more at the subtle accusation he could feel under the hostility. Shego said very deliberately, "Have we learned a lesson from that little mission you sent me on a few days ago?"

His mind scrabbled to think on what kind of lesson she meant. She certainly couldn't have known that he had intentionally betrayed her.

He nearly gagged again at the rotten pit of guilt digging into his stomach.

"Uhm… Ah…" His mouth worked to push forth something, _anything_ that would sound reasonable to her. "I, ah, should…" How could he be honest and not-honest about this? "Should…" A thought struck. Victory! "...check on the security at the place I'm sending you and make sure it's something you can handle?"

Her eyes narrowed. " _Yes_." She snarled the word, and if the previous accusation was subtle, than this was like a hammer to the head. A disgusted snarl left her throat before she stomped out of the room, clearly too angry with him to hang around while he worked.

_She doesn't care about you_ the voice seemed to call from where Shego had vanished off to.

That one was true.

Drakken wandered over and stared at his workbench for a minute, letting his mind wander until it snatched upon an idea that he could work with. Killer bees in a gun? _Genius_! Now the only problem was working it out so that they wouldn't die from starvation and not go after the guy holding the gun…

He pulled out various flasks and beakers filled with the chemicals he would need to create a drought to subdue and control a hive of bees. It was easy for him to get lost in the task. This was his world, after all, and no one could touch him here.


	2. A Not-So-Average Day

_They're still laughing at you_

Drakken rolled his eyes and snorted at the air. He knew that the voice was wrong. There wasn't a chance that it was right, as the medal around his neck proved.

A bright smile came to his face as he caressed the golden medal. This was a practical wish come true! Some faerie had come along and heard him and decided that he should finally get what he wanted. Though…

He stopped paying attention to the trinket around his neck as he quickly shot a glance at his sidekick. Partner. Side-ner? Whatever. The word didn't matter so much as the meaning behind it. She had come through BIG time, and… And she deserved the respect.

She was sitting in her tanning chair as usual, acting as if the world nearly ending the week before didn't affect her in the least. But he could _feel_ her eyes on him every now and then, a different feeling than when the voices or the creepy-crawlies came out from hiding to harass him.

Drakken was also trying to act unaffected. It wasn't as if anything had _actually_ happened to them. Nothing of any import, anyway, save for the new plant powers.

Except he knew that was a lie. She probably knew too. There was… The air was thick with a strange energy, a sense of anticipation. For what Drakken had no idea. All he knew for certain was that it couldn't last forever and that whatever it was needed to be talked about.

_You're lying_

He blinked, tilting his head a little. It was a little strange when the voices referred to himself so blatantly. Mostly because they had some insight that he seemed to lack about how he was feeling.

Right. So he was lying again. The scientist had a hint of what it was, as the little hooks in his heart let him know whenever he felt her looking at him.

He couldn't act on it.

He had no _right_ to act on it.

There were numerous arguments that one could make on how Shego was way out of his league, how he was old and she had a world of opportunity open to her. That stuff didn't matter so much. If Shego felt that someone was worthy of her, no matter how odd it seemed, then they must be worthy.

No, the problem was the very glaring, unforgiving fact that he had tried to kill her. _She_ didn't know that, having disguised it so well as a failed robbery, but Drakken would never let himself forget it. Whenever the little hooks pulled at him, the rest of his insides twisted as he remembered…

So he couldn't do it. And if she did, he would have to say no. Because she deserved someone that hadn't tried to end her existence just because a Voice told him to.

Drakken looked around the lair, trying to think of something to distract himself from the awkward atmosphere. If only they hadn't gotten the pardon, then he could pile on villainous scheme after villainous scheme to work on. He and Shego had mutually agreed to enjoy the pardons for a while, though, so he couldn't take that up again. Not yet, anyway.

Frustrated, he let himself descend into a small bout of grunts and stomping as he tossed various little inventions that went nowhere about, looking for something at least unfinished that he could complete. They couldn't judge him for seeing something to completion, now could they?

_Stupid, useless idiot_

It was at least a few minutes of admittedly pointless flailing when he was snapped out of his attempts to distract himself by a hand on his shoulder.

"Yo, Doc, you okay?" she said. There was some joking note in her voice, but under that he could hear the honest concern. Shego was actually worried about him and his sudden inability to just sit down and work.

It actually made him hurt inside to hear her say that.

"I… Nnnngh…" he sputtered, unsure of what to say. Finally, he settled on, "Things are just weird."

"I know, right?" Shego gave her familiar smirk, letting her arm drop. "I can't believe we got roped into helping Princess and the dork save the world. So much for our villain cred."

"Don't _remind_ me," Drakken said, facepalming. "Hench already cut up my membership card to the guild."

"Was it worth it?"

The seriousness of her tone caught him off guard. He looked at her, her face pinched with a strange concentration as she waited for his response. The weight she was giving it was enough to made him really give a large amount of thought to it.

Was it worth it? He hadn't really considered the question until she confronted him with it. Was saving the world worth losing his villain cred? To be a normal civilian type with mad scientist skills?

It was amazingly easy to answer. After all, only one of them had garnered that which he'd been after the entire time.

"Definitely!" he crowed, puffing out his chest. "It was about time the world recognized my genius. Even if it wasn't under my iron fist…"

"Good." She tilted her head, and for a second Drakken almost expected her to rub her arm just like she had on the alien spaceship. Hesitantly, she said, "You deserve it with how hard you worked. Even if most of your plans were stupid."

"Hmph!" Drakken crossed his arms and turned away from her. "My plans were not stupid! It was all Kim Possible's fault. I would've succeeded if she hadn't kept getting in my way." He turned back around, waving a finger in her face. "And the fact that my plan against the aliens worked says as much!"

"Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that."

He snorted and pretended to be frustrated, but inside he felt a sense of relief. _This_ was how their relationship should be. Back-and-forth sniping, slight antagonism with Shego having a one-up on him in the sarcasm department, and the complete lack of any-..

His thoughts cut off immediately when he found himself liplocked with Shego, her arms pulling him into a light hug. He was so shocked that he didn't even react beyond a muffled, confused "Wha?"

A few seconds later, she pulled away and looked him. Her expression was mostly unreadable beyond a slight tinge of amusement sparkling in her eyes.

"You need to brush your teeth more often. I can taste the coffee you had this morning," Shego said with no real admonition in her voice. Her smile was barely even mocking.

This was bad.

"I, ah, Shego…" he spluttered, trying to find the words to make this unhappen. "That was… Erm…"

"Nice?" Her eyes dipped into a half-lidded stare, more than just a little teasing in them. "I can't really say for sure on my end since you went cold fish on me, but I'm pretty sure that you enjoyed it."

He _did_ , and that was one of the worst parts!

Struggling for the will to turn her down, Drakken said with a mild amount of panic and a few octaves higher than he'd intended, "It was completely unenjoyable! And inappropriate! And, and, and I can't _believe_ you would do that!"

"You're lying," Shego said, her confident grin breaking the weak mask he was trying to put on.

_You're lying_

The echo was loud, and he wasn't sure which was Shego's voice and which wasn't.

"Shego…" He tried to keep protesting, but his heart just wasn't in it.

"Y'know, I always figured I'd board the crazy train at some point. Just never thought that it would be in a _relationship_ with someone as nutty as you," she snickered.

"You have no idea…" The guilt was pressing against his mouth, making him speak the truth. "You have no idea what I've done. If you did…" He pulled himself away from her, rubbing his arms together. "You don't want this."

"Pfffft. _Please._ Don't even try that." Shego shook her head. "I know pretty much everything about you, you dork. What in the world could you have done-.."

"I tried to kill you." The words hung in the air.

Then Shego laughed, almost a belly-laugh.

" _You_? Kill _me_? Are you _kidding_ me with that? I mean, now, maybe you could put up a fight with your plant powers. But there is no way you could have managed to even _hurt_ me before, let _alone_ kill me."

He hadn't even _thought_ that he could genuinely hurt or kill Shego with his new powers. But now that she'd said it... Panic choked him along with guilt, the only thought now was to make sure that she believed him.

"The mission, the one with the McHenry laser grids and the guard sentry. I sent you on that with the intent to have you die." The words came with a strange ease. It didn't make it any less nauseous for him. He had to swallow theatrically to keep the contents of his stomach down.

Her face fell as she apparently realized he wasn't lying. "You… You tried to kill me with that? You…" Mouth twisting in horror, she asked vacantly, "What in the world did I do that you would want to _kill_ me…? I thought…" She grimaced, and some of her usual anger began to come back. "You tried to kill me. You wanted me to, to _die_..."

"No Shego, you _don't understand_!" he nearly cried as the panic fully gripped him, his tone begging. He wanted her to go so she would be safe, but he didn't want her to think that he _wanted_ to hurt her! "I didn't-.. I couldn't-.. I can't control myself when It… It…"

"You purposely tried to kill me!" Shego repeated, her tone a mix of disbelief and outrage. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you?!"

"I don't _know_!" Drakken sobbed, aware he was crying and not caring. "When the Voice talks to me, I can't-.."

"You had better find a-.." Shego cut herself off, suddenly taking in what he said. "Wait. Voice?"

He was sitting on the ground now, shaking from the memory. "Yes. It's like, like I can't think anything except what It _tells_ me. I mean, I hear other voices taunting me and telling me stuff, but _this_ one…" Drakken shook his head, then looked up at Shego imploringly. "I can't stop myself. Because it's _always_ Right and I'm always Wrong. _Always_."

His head fell, his gaze fixed on the ground. He couldn't look at her anymore. He was such a _mess_. Suddenly, Drakken didn't care about what he'd thought earlier. Shego really _was_ better than he was. What he was, was just…

Her fingers hooked under his chin, gently forcing it up to make his eyes meet hers. She didn't look nearly as angry as she had just a minute ago. If anything, she looked curious and a little reserved.

"Doc," she said evenly, "I need you to tell me everything."

"Everything?" He wasn't sure what she was referring to.

"The voices. Compulsions. Whatever else that bothers you like the voices you hear."

"You mean like the bugs that come out of my skin and harass me?" Drakken asked with some confusion.

She took in a breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah. Like that."

**DSDSDSDSDS**

Finally, after a half-hour of him whining about bothersome things that barely mattered at all to anyone but him, Drakken quieted down. He wiggled around uncomfortably on the rocky floor where he'd initially collapsed. Shego, at some point, had grabbed a nearby chair and had flipped it around so her head could rest against its back.

"That's… Pretty much it." He shrugged unknowingly. There hadn't really been much point in telling Shego. What in the world could she do? Hire an exorcist?

...why didn't he ever think of that before!? Maybe that was all he needed! Yes! Drakken was clearly being haunted! Get some of that holy water in there and…

...no. No, it couldn't be that simple. It was _him_ , after all.

Shego sat stock-still, drilling holes into his head. It wasn't unsettling that she was staring at him. She did that sometimes when she felt like getting a peeved point across. No. The part that was making him uneasy was the way she was looking at him.

No anger. No malice. No mockery. Nothing negative at all! She looked… _Concerned_.

"Doc…" Shego's brow crinkled as she asked, "You've been living with this, this crap for your entire life?"

He thought for a second. That didn't sound right.

"Not my _entire_ life," he refuted. It took him a moment's pause to try and remember when, exactly, it all started. "I suppose the first time I really noticed anything strange and annoying was in college. Around the same time I dropped out."

She shook her head and gave him another look. This one almost looked like pity!

"Drakken." Shego flipped her chair around so the back was to her left and leaned over so they were face-to-face. She gave him a critical eye. "That isn't normal."

"I know that!" he snapped, glaring at her. "Do you think I didn't know that!? Of COURSE it's not normal!"

Instead of giving a snappy comeback like he'd hoped she would and start sweeping this uncomfortable topic under the rug, she sighed. "Have you told anyone else about all of this? Your problems?"

"Well… No! Who in the world would I tell? Dementor?" Drakken looked away and cringed. "Or Mother?"

Shego gave him a critical eye. "What about a doctor?"

"A doctor?" His insides turned cold. "I, I didn't want to talk with one about this."

"Why?"

The simple question shook him. Why _didn't_ he want to tell one about what was going on? But the answers came easily.

Because they might mistake him for being crazy.

Because they might lock him up in a padded room.

Because they could use it against him somehow.

Reason after reason came to him, yet he was unable to articulate a single one to Shego. Instead he gave her a pleading look, begging her to let it go. To drop it. To let things go back to how they were before that rash action, the kiss, on her part.

She watched him for a solid minute. Then she took a breath. It sounded strangely labored, like she was preparing to do a lot of work just after she exhaled.

Her eyes closed briefly as she let out her breath. They opened, now with a determined glint in them.

"You need help."

Drakken's world froze. His stare was fixed on her face. What did she mean 'need help'? What did he need help with? He was trying to ignore the possible explanation that came to mind. She wouldn't do _that_ to him… Would she? Turn him over to quacks in doctor jackets who would tie him to a bed and poke and prod him until he cried and begged for them to let him go?

She seemed to catch his feelings, even with the frozen mask his face became. "Doc, it's not as bad as you seem to think it is. You're _sick_. You need medicine. Like someone with heart issues." Straightening back up, she asked, "Would you tell someone with a heart murmur that they shouldn't take meds?"

He shifted, looking away from her. "Well… _No_ … But…"

"But what?" she challenged. "You're sick. Your brain's all messed up and being stupid. You need taken care of." Shego uncharacteristically gave his cheek a gentle stroke. It made his stomach flop with both warmth and more guilt. He shouldn't… His mind was cut from his thoughts when she firmly said as she stood up, "I'm calling a doctor."

His mind filled with panic. "But-.. But Shego, I-.. I'm okay enough!" Petulant anger, a familiar friend, filled him with bluster. "What makes you think you're some kind of expert? Maybe… Maybe I'm psychic or something!"

"Doc… Trust me on this." She sounded both stubborn and pleading. "I promise, if they try to stuff you in a crazy room I'll bust in and get you out. Heck, you can even tell me 'I told you so' if that happens!"

"I…" Shego was acting Not Normal. Was this… Really that big of a deal…? It was just stupid voices! Random little blurbs in his ear! It didn't require intervention from qua-..

Then, he remembered the Voice. And what almost happened to Shego.

He paused, then sighed. "I'll listen to you on this." Then, a random thought occurring to him, he insisted, "But just this once!"

"Good." She walked over to her sunchair, her back to him, and snatched her phone from where she had left it sitting. Shego turned her attention to her mobile phone and began poking around, likely looking at the various options for doctors in the area.

_Stop her_

Drakken blinked. Why would he do that? All she was doing was calling someone or another. Shego wouldn't let them do anything to him, no matter who she called or what they said.

_Stop her_

He snorted at the voice just behind him. They were just, just stupid pieces of his brain being stupid! Just like Shego said. He didn't, shouldn't listen to them. It would all stop eventu-..

**_Stop her_ **

His breath hitched in his throat. It dried up, making the insides of his mouth stick together. His jaw flopped open and closed as he stared at Shego's back. He was trying to say something, _anything_ , to warn her. To stop the pressure in his brain.

_s_ **To** _P h_ **_E_ r**

Voices screamed in his ear, in his head, all of them growing louder and louder, insistent and unyielding. Drakken tried to ignore it, he really did.

But they were Right and he was Wrong.


	3. Outlier

Shego sighed to herself as she looked at a directory for local psychiatrists. This wasn't how she'd seen her little confession going.

Oh, there were _plenty_ of ways she'd imagined it going. Anywhere from excited gushing on Drakken's part to him uttering the dreaded words "I'm gay.". There wasn't any real way to predict which way it would have gone.

But this? Yeah, it didn't even ping on her radar.

It was pure luck they just so happened to be at the Middleton lair. They had both decided the day before, heading back from the UN celebration, that neither of them had the care or energy to pilot all the way to the Caribbean lair. So they'd crashed at the smaller, more prominent lair. Here, there was a large range of nearby doctors to choose from. If they'd been in the Caribbean… Good luck with _that_!

But it was okay. Frankly, she should've _expect_ _ed_ that he had these problems.

...she couldn't believe that he had tried to kill her. Genuinely planned to have her die. And for what? Why would he do that? Even he didn't have an explanation beyond some kind of voice telling him to. No actual plan beyond her being dead.

It made a lump of cold _something_ form in her gut. She wasn't sure what it was.

She had just found what looked like a halfway decent option - some lady named Dr. H. D. Case - when her phone was snatched out of her hands.

"Hey!" Shego turned and snarled at Drakken, "What's the big idea?!"

He was looking her phone over, almost as if there might be a hidden compartment or something. A sneer crossed his face as he growled, "You won't be needing _this_ anymore…"

A vine swirled from out of his jacket and crushed her phone to pieces.

Shego started, "What the hell are you-.."

"Going to play innocent? Cute. Very cute." Drakken let the pieces of what used to be her phone fall to the floor. For good measure, he dug his boot into the pile of plastic and circuitry.

"Innocent?" Shego tilted her head.

"Don't give me that look!" he barked. "I know what you were _really_ doing… You thought I wouldn't figure it out, didn't you?" Another vine crawled out of his lab coat, thick and twisted. "Thought I would go quietly with whatever you and your bosses had planned?!"

"Doc…" She decided to try and talk him down. He'd been fine a literal minute ago. And, well, if he kept ranting like a lunatic about his paranoid delusions, it should be easy enough to knock him out and tie him up. Just until the crazy spell passed. "You're the only boss that I have. I don't-.."

"Don't give me your useless drivel!" he bellowed, sneering. "I _know_ you're planning on doing something to me."

"Like _what_?" Shego asked plainly, slightly exasperated. "What in the _world_ do you think I would do to you that would warrant you putting on your crazy pants?"

His expression was unyielding. "I don't know…" A snarl crossed his face. "But I'm not _about_ to let you do it. I don't know _who_ you're working for, but-.." Something like a flash of inspiration seemed to bodily shake him. Then, in a voice full of vague shock, he murmured, "Kim Possible…!"

Her head tilted. What did Kim Possible have to do with any of this?

Rage etched itself onto every corner of his face. "You're working for _Kim Possible_ , aren't you?!"

The sudden swerve in sanity made Shego react as if he'd punched her. " _What_?!"

"Of course! It all makes sense now!" His hands scrabbled through his hair, dislodging several strands from his ponytail. Practically foaming at the mouth, he shrieked, "You're working for her! That damned cheerleader! You're a plant, _meant_ to thwart me!"

"Doctor D! _Get a grip_!" She made to slap him silly, hopefully knock his gears back into place, but stopped short as he ducked away and assumed a defensive stance. She was almost proud that he remembered it even in the midst of his insane rant. A frown twisting her mouth, she said as evenly as she could, "That is one of the _dumbest_ things you've ever said. What point would there be in-.."

"You're probably lovers!" he continued, heedless of her words. The tone he used was one of dawning horror and realization. "This, this _entire thing_ with you kissing me… It was all _a lie_! You were trying to get another one over on me! Poor stupid desperate Drakken, willing to believe that a beautiful woman like you would consider dating him! Well guess what?!" His head lifted and tilted as he looked down his nose at her. " _I'm not falling for it_!"

Shego's mind had ground to a halt at the 'lovers' comment. Then it drowned in the rest of his little rant. Incredulously, she said with disgust, "Me, lovers with that _child_? With _Kimmie_? And kissing you as some kind of ploy? _Do you have any idea how offensive you're being right now_?!" Her hands lit up in outrage. "You're going to _regret_ this later, when you have a gri-.."

"I don't think I will," he said with a finality that she hadn't heard since he was wrapping his Diablo plan up in a nice little bow. "I think I'm more likely to be _relieved_ , knowing that I won't have to watch my back for the dagger you'll stick in it!"

Shego stood there, staring at Drakken. Was this how he really felt? With the filters off? That she would even bother messing around with his mind like that?

...no. No, she shouldn't take it personally. In her college courses on psychology, they talked about psychoses. How _messed up_ someone could end up, just by their brain shorting out. It had stuck with her as she had worried about that very same thing happening to her with all of the crazy mind-altering tech they tended to run into in the hero/villain business.

But knowing that didn't help her now.

Shego swallowed. He was all ready for a fight. Drakken was convinced she was going to sell him out, that everything had been part of some elaborate plan on her part to bring him down. That meant he would be going out for blood. She couldn't take this lightly.

She was the superior fighter. He only knew some basic fighting styles from her recent training sessions with him. What he didn't have in skill, though, he had in durability. He'd smashed into the side of a mountain with barely any reaction. When push came to shove, when he pushed through the pain, any hit she dealt would probably be mostly shrugged off. And she'd laid into him enough over the years that he was familiar with the pain she could deal.

Shego considered running. In fact, if the opener didn't get him she fully planned to retreat. The only issue was that he was between her and the way out. Both the hanger and the front door were in his direction. She would have to dodge around him to get away.

Then, suddenly, he was jumping right at her. In half a breath he was in her face.

_Shit!_ She'd forgotten how _fast_ he could be when he needed to be!

He had the literal jump on her. He tackled her to the ground, his vines flailing and grasping at her. Somehow they managed to encompass her hands, pulling them out and away from her body and leaving her sprawled out on her back. Whether it was luck or skill Shego didn't know.

Drakken rushed to his knees, his body having ended up falling to Shego's left. She kicked her legs up, attempting to wrap them around his arm and try to trap him.

He took a kick to the face and barely reacted. Instead, he hopped over onto her chest and pinned her down.

He grabbed her mouth and began pulling her upper and lower jaws apart, forcibly twisting her head to the side. She made to bite him, keep him from doing whatever he was doing. But she found his grip and arm strength outclassed her jaw strength.

Drakken wrenched hard, pulling her mouth open, grunting and snarling from the effort. Then slowly, deliberately, he began pushing her mouth apart. As the pain struck, her teeth straining in her mouth and her mouth stretching to its limits, Shego realized he didn't plan on stopping.

She had an enhanced physiology thanks to her Go glow. It would take a hell of a lot to break _anything_ of hers. But she knew, could _feel_ , that he was pushing her body to the edge.

She'd known he had some kind of limited superstrength. It only seemed to show up when he wasn't minding himself, when he didn't think on what he was doing. The fact that it was rearing its head now…

He had lost his mind. One hundred percent crazy right now. Drakken would keep going until her jaw was torn clean off her face. He might even go farther than that, maybe crush her throat, just to make sure the job was done. Fear tore at her as she realized _he might actually kill her_.

Her power reacted to her emotions. The halo around her hands intensified as the temperature rose higher and higher. A quick glance at them, past his enraged face, showed that the flame was starting to roast his freakish vines at an accelerated rate.

Suddenly, with a small snapping noise and a sharp shooting pain, her jaw began going past where it should have stopped. The skin in the corners of her mouth began to tear as he forced her jaws farther and farther apart.

She wretched her arms hard. The right one stayed trapped, but the left one-..

Her hand smacked the back of his head hard with the force she'd exerted to tear her limb free, to tear the vine apart. He paused for a moment in confusion. One desperately needed moment.

She pulled her arm back and immediately shoved her flaming fingers into his eye.

He howled wordlessly as his eyeball roasted in the socket. His grip, both with his remaining vine and hands, immediately loosened as he tripped backwards away from her, grabbing at his face. Shego's stomach twisted and soured at the smell and the feel. She _hated_ when things went this far. She always held back against Princess because of it. But this…

She _had_ to. As much as she hated it, as much as she hated _who she did it to_ , she had to.

And now she had to run.

She stumbled to her feet, her jaw flopping painfully as she tried to close it. It refused, the feeling of bones grinding and the resulting pain stopping her from trying too much more. The corners of her mouth burned, blood flowing freely down the raw edges that were torn open.

Shego had to ignore it. She could worry about it _later_ , when she _wasn't_ at immediate risk of dying. Instead, she began to run for the door.

She made it three steps before she found herself tripping back to the floor. Surprised, she turned her head to look at what had tripped her-..

Drakken had her left foot in his grip. His good eye was locked on her face, a pained grimace fighting with desperate panic.

His other eye… The edges of the socket were weeping, boils rising in uneven clumps in a ring. The eyeball itself looks like it had been punctured, fluid leaking out a cut of some sort as it shifted around with his attempt to focus on her.

"I won't let you, I won't let you, _I won't let you Iwon'tletyou_ ," Drakken chanted frantically, one of his vines taking the opportunity to snake around the foot he had grabbed when he tripped her. " _Iwon'tletyou_ _ **Iwon'tletyouIWON'TLETYOU**_!"

She kicked him in the face, trying to aim for the fresh burn. Her foot struck home, the heel of her boot hitting him clean in one of the bigger boils. As he winced and hissed in pain, Shego took the handful of seconds to concentrate her power into the palms of her hands. Then, as carefully as she could aim in the scant remaining time, she blasted the vine around her ankle with everything she had.

The vine jerked, crumpling together before it shriveled up to a burnt crisp.

Shego kicked Drakken in the face again to buy herself another handful of seconds. His fingers scrabbled along her foot, trying to gain traction, but failed to grasp her before she could deliver her blow.

He shrieked as the tip of her boot landed clean into the eyeball. It made a gut-wrenching squelching noise as more liquid gushed out of it. His hands reflexively clenched around his face, Shego momentarily forgotten.

She rushed away, crawling in a desperate bid to make space between the two of them. If she had space, she could react. She could use her plasma to blast him back. She could escape.

_Escape_.

She grasped onto that option, jumping up and back onto her feet. Shego took a few steps away, towards the door, when a thought struck her.

Drakken.

When Drakken came back to his senses, alone and after having attacked her like he had, what would he do? How would he react? Considering his reaction to the first time he'd tried…

...she had to take him down. She wasn't sure if she was suicidal or if she actually cared that damn much, but she knew she couldn't leave him to himself.

It would be okay. He'd gotten the jump on her at first, but she was back in control. She was up, mobile, prepared. While he was…

He was struggling back to his feet. Whimpering, covering up his damaged eye with a hand, he finally forced himself up. His good eye glared at her, all of his paranoia and hate focused in it. It made her feel uneasy, that particular expression on his face directed at her.

"Not going to run to tattle to your precious Kimmie?" he snarled, then winced.

She made to talk back, but found herself unable to speak through her broken jaw. Instead, she shook her head and assumed a defensive posture.

"Nothing to say for yourself?" Drakken snorted. Her incredulous look and gesture towards her mouth were clearly ignored. "Should've _expected_ that much."

Shego brushed off his ire, again going back into her stance. He was impatient. It wouldn't take long before he broke and did something rash.

A few minutes passed. She remained calm, collected, ready for any of the crap that he would possibly throw at her but still slightly panicked at how close she came to biting it. He, meanwhile, began to fume. His teeth were grinding audibly as he stared her down.

"Well?" he spat. "Are you going to _do_ anything?"

Shego did her best to give him a smirk even with her loose and painfully broken jaw.

It was legible enough, as his sudden bout of Angrish told her. He began to grumble and growl, pacing back and forth a good dozen feet away from her. His vines regenerated, the two he was controlling wavering above him at the ready.

He stopped. Turned to her with a snarl. Then charged, vines shooting ahead at her.

It was easy for Shego to fry the incoming vines to ash with solid full-on plasma blasts. She was frightened, alert, ready to defend herself. They wouldn't get past her defense.

Neither would Drakken.

He hadn't even made it half the distance to her when she refocused her attention to him. Concentrating again, she blasted him back with a solid one-two shot of plasma.

Drakken cried out as he flew backwards, wincing and gasping as his overcoat began to burn. Shego blinked, confused for a moment. Normally his coat could take anything and everything she tossed at him. Then she realized...

It wasn't often her plasma burned this hot. Very few things could bring it out.

Attempting to survive from a near-death experience was one of them.

Again, Drakken was cradling the right side of his face. Fury and fear alternated as the dominant expression, taking turns to twist his face in different directions.

"You think you have me _beat_ , don't you?! That Doctor Drakken is going to be taken down and laid low by you and _Possible_!" he screamed, his voice echoing slightly from the volume. "That you'll get to do whatever it is you're planning on doing to him!" His hands brushed through his hair frantically, dislodging even more strands. At this point more hair was hanging out of the ponytail than in it. "Let me tell you… You won't take me _that_ easily! _I won't let you take me_!"

Now he was shivering. Whether it was from fear or rage Shego couldn't tell. He grabbed his arms and rubbed them together, comforting himself.

"No, Doctor Drakken won't be taken…"

She stared at him. What in the world was he saying? His delusion must've been pretty strong to be as dramatic as he was acting.

Suddenly his head snapped up. His entire attention focused on Shego. He was clearly trying to focus his eyes on her, but was failing with his right eye.

His damaged eye looked deflated in the burned socket. It was rolling about aimlessly, even as he tried to get it to work. Shego's stomach soured from just _looking_ at it.

Then he took a step towards her.

Shego tossed a ball of plasma right at his chest. It hit dead-on, the flames burning another small piece of his lab coat to ash. The heat and slight tinge of smoke from the smoldering coat blurred her view of him for a moment.

He flinched backwards a half-step. Then he took another step.

She shot another blast at him, her plasma again hitting home just under his chin.

He winced and stumbled backwards another half-step before he stubbornly shook his head and, snarl on his face, took another step.

She realized his game. The body shots hurt, but he could fight through it. Eventually he would stop being careful, judging her powers and aim, and simply charge. If he got too close again… Shego eyed his vines. It would be another struggle. One she wasn't sure she would come out on top.

She couldn't let him close the distance. But how…?

Then, inspiration struck as his knee gave way for a moment. Even as he forced it back up, Shego knew it was the answer.

Taking her own step back, she focused her power again and tossed it at him. He braced his body for the blow.

Her blast struck her target head-on. To Drakken's shock, it wasn't his body or even his head. Instead, it was the knee that had given out the moment before. A large patch of his coat and part of his pants burned and fell away with the flames, and he fell to the ground in a stumbling pile. He growled and snapped his head up, jumping back to his feet in a hurry.

Another shot, this time to his other ankle.

He took it with a shift on his legs, putting weight on his damaged knee. His shoe fell off in a singed holey pile as he took another step.

A blast hit him in his good knee, sending him back to the ground. She followed it up with another plasma ball aimed at his face. Drakken howled and flinched his head away, but stood regardless.

She started tossing plasma balls in a pattern. Elbow. Knee. Ankle. Chest. Each made him stumble to a stop as he tried to regain himself. She took careful steps back, circling around the room as needed. His clothing had been almost entirely eaten away by flames, falling to the floor in ashy clumps. He was naked now save for a boot and a small section of a sleeve hanging loosely off of his shoulder.

...well, at least her worry about him maybe having a micropenis was relieved.

Eventually, finally, he collapsed in a manner that seemed to mark the end. He was breathing raggedly, covered in first and second degree burns mostly focused on his joints. His arms barely held him up, shaking from the effort. The vines had long ago stopped regenerating. His hair was mostly burned off, leaving weeping sores in its place.

Cautiously, Shego closed the distance. He was clearly worn to the edge, but that didn't mean he was giving up. Adrenaline could do crazy things sometimes.

He looked up at her. The burns across and around the right side of his face looked even worse than before. Shego could swear she saw bits of bone now peeking out from his eye socket. His good eye was filled with tears and fear.

"No… Nonono, _please_ don't take me…!" he whimpered. Then, resolution crossing his face, he said, "I won't let you take me. I won't let you take me Iwon'tletyoutakeme _Iwon'tletyoutakeme_!" Then suddenly his tongue was stuck between his teeth as he bit down hard.

Shego's eyes shot open as she realized what he was doing. As fast as she could, she dropped to her knees and began forcing his mouth back open.

Before, he probably could've fought her attempts off long enough to finish the grisly task of biting his tongue off. Now, though, he was far too tired to manage. Almost too easily Shego was able to force his now-bleeding tongue back into his mouth and shove her fingers in so he couldn't try it again. He kept trying to bite down, but wasn't able to get his tongue past her fingers. Her fingers were hurting from the pressure. It would be fine; she only needed a few more seconds.

His good eye widened in shock and panic. His arms fought to lift themselves enough to put up a fight, but failed in their task. Muffled whimpers escaped from his throat as Shego lit up the pointer finger on her free hand.

She wished she could've tried to reassure him. Let him know she didn't blame him for what was happening to him. Maybe even crack through the crazy enough to let him know she would be waiting for when he was better. But she couldn't. Not with her jaw being the way it was. So Shego settled on giving him a calm, sympathetic look as her finger pressed against his forehead and delivered the knock-out shot of plasma.

He collapsed completely then, like a puppet cut from its strings. His weight fell heavily into Shego's lap. She waited a moment, seeing if he was going to stay under.

A few breaths later saw her taking one enormous one. A large sigh escaped her nose as she let herself calm down and come down from the adrenaline rush.

Then, slowly and with some minor shaking, she got up, hoisted Drakken over her shoulder, and made for the hovercar.


	4. Calibrate

Slowly, painfully, he regained consciousness.

It wasn't complete. His mind was slow, numb. It felt like everything was through a mushy filter. Like there was a haze he couldn't see through.

From what little he could feel, it was a likely relief. There was a mild burning pain that seemed to radiate from every part of his body. And even through the mush he could feel an absolutely godawful pain across the entire right side of his face. There was something _wrong_ there, but exactly what it was he couldn't quite pin down. Something was in his mouth. It was some kind of hard plasticy material with something soft attached to it. A steady muffled beep broke through the fog every few seconds.

He was having trouble remembering, thinking… What had happened? He was… He was Drakken. Doctor Drakken. Yes, that sounded right. Genius extraordinaire.

But… What had happened? Why was he…?

There was… Fire. Green fire. All over, hitting him, burning him. That was… Shego. His side-ner. Except… it was a lot of fire. Lots of burning. What had he done…

Panic began to grip him as he remembered. She was a traitor. Teaming up with Kim Possible in a long-term gambit to take him down. He'd rooted her out, and they fought. They-..

His heart stopped as he managed to grasp on to what had happened.

_They had him_.

Drakken fought through the fog. Struggled to move, to get back to his senses. To fight against whatever they were doing to him. His right eye refused to do anything but _hurt_ , but he was able to sluggishly raise the eyelid of his left. It didn't do much good; everything was out of focus, blurred and illegible.

The beeping noise was getting louder and faster. On top of it, a strange high-pitched squeal started sounding off. He managed to raise an arm ever-so-slowly, trying to pull himself up on something, anything. It was a scant inch or so before he hit the limit of range. Confusion struck for a moment before he realized _they had strapped him down_.

Panic began to genuinely take him as he tried to pull himself free. It was a weak effort, but he had to try. He couldn't let them, couldn't let them, _couldn't let them_ -..

Movement registered in his blurry vision. He couldn't tell what it was. Then a muffled noise like a door opening.

Then, suddenly, there was a _lot_ of movement. Shapes that vaguely looked like people crowded around him. Drakken couldn't tell who they were or what they were doing, but he desperately wanted them to _stop_ …!

One of the shapes reached for his arm. Belatedly he realized there were tubes connected to it, sticking out of his skin. Something twisted, pulling on his skin. Then a cold flush spread out from the tubes through his arm. _What were they putting in him-.._

Drakken managed to start flailing then, the fog lifting with the adrenaline. They were _doing_ things to him! He couldn'tcouldn't _couldn't_ let them! They were, were Bad. They were doing Bad Things to him. They had to stop! He had to stop them!

He pulled hard against the straps binding his arms. There was a ripping noise and he found he could lift his right arm farther than before.

Voices, varied and muffled, sounded… Panicked? Probably frightened that whatever experiments they were performing on him would be ruined.

_Let them_ panic. He wouldn't willingly let them do whatever they were doing! He wouldn't let them!

One of the forms, a halo of black, moved closer. Suddenly a green glow, shifting and bright, appeared in a blurry ball.

_Shego_.

The glow moved closer. He mentally snarled and tried to squirm away. As it drew up to his head, Drakken tried to curse her out. The words were slurred and muted from whatever was in his mouth, but his mind screamed them plenty well.

_You LIAR! Horrible dirty liar! Tricking me, trying to seduce me… Do you think this is funny? Are you laughing at me?! Liar! Liarliarliarliarliar!_

The green light flashed, a hot spark flooding his head.

_You_ bi-..

**DSDSDSDSDS**

He woke up slowly. His left eye felt crusty, like it had been shut for a while. His right eye… All he felt was pain. In fact, most of him was pain.

Drakken… He kind of remembered what was going on. He was strapped down someplace and being pumped with who-knew-what while Shego stood by guarding him. Making sure he stayed asleep and compliant.

He couldn't let his emotions get the best of him. She was on guard, ready for him to show the beginning signs of waking up. If Drakken could give himself some time to get his wits about him, to come up with a plan, he could probably manage to escape. Get away from these horrible people working for Kim Possible and make his way to one of his more hidden lairs where he could rest and heal while they searched blindly for him at the other, more prominent lairs.

He tried to listen, see if there was anything going on around him. Through the haze he could again hear that infernal beeping. It was speeding up a bit, but at least the second squealing noise hadn't started up.

Drakken took stock of himself. It felt like he was wearing just some kind of thin dress. Maybe a hospital gown? But no, that wouldn't make sense. He wouldn't be in a hospital. Not if they were going to experiment on him.

There was the warm itchy confined feeling around his wrists, ankles, chest, and head that told him that he was strapped down. His earlier struggles, the mindless panicked flailing, managed to just about break one of them. Maybe if he concentrated more, focused his efforts, he could do it in one clean go. Must be rather weak restraints that he could tear them apart like that. But even with that, would he be strong enough to tear them off quickly enough to start putting up a fight against Shego?

...his vines.

During the fight, they had managed to pin Shego down, even with her powers active. It didn't last for _long_ , but it should be enough time. Enough time to escape. Get out of their clutches. He could only fully control two at a time. ...but would he really care about controlling them? Everyone, every _thing_ around him at the moment was against him. His enemy. It was true he couldn't control them when there were more than two. But if he could just direct the emotions of needing to stop _everyone_ around him then having a group of them should work. He wouldn't even need to try and control their strength!

Drakken could do it now. Tear himself free, fight off anyone, even Shego, with his superpowered vines. Just run for it until he couldn't any more.

But… But that would be rash. He wasn't the best at this sort of thing, but even he realized that he didn't know entirely what was going on. What defenses they had. Even where they were was a mystery.

So… So maybe he should wait? Maybe? They were pumping him full of something, but if his escape attempt failed they would pump him full of _even more_. He had to play it smart.

And so he waited. Listening. Trying to pick up bits and pieces from the surroundings to piece together something, anything that could help.

He found from chatter from a couple of men checking on him that he was in a hospital. Upperton. Drakken wasn't sure if he was in a hidden bunker or what. If he was, it couldn't have been _too_ far underground. It meant it should be easy enough to do a quick rush out of the place. Another little bit of discussion revealed that they had classified him as a suicide risk. They complained to each other about working around the straps and the precautions.

Bah! He was only a risk if he couldn't get away. If needed, as a last-ditch effort, he could probably get his vines to crush his throat. They couldn't do Bad Things to him if he was _dead_!

Another cold flush went into his arm. Drakken couldn't help tensing up. Luckily for him, either the people watching him didn't notice or didn't care. To his annoyance and a spark of fear, he found himself starting to pass out again. Probably put a sedative of some sort into whatever they were pumping into him. He fought it for a while before he finally slowly succumbed, falling into a dreamless slumber.

**DSDSDSDSDS**

He woke up suddenly.

Drakken gasped a little as he tried to take even breaths in and out. His left eye had shot open wide, looking around for whatever had shocked him awake. He was still medicated, but the shock of whatever-it-was made him jerk visibly. For some reason, the sedatives seemed to be having less and less of an effect on him.

He tried to catch his breath. His muscles relaxed again, flopping back against the bed he was laying on. Drakken wasn't quite safe, but at least he wasn't at immediate risk of Bad Things happening to him.

"Hmmm…"

The noise made him pause.

Someone was in the room with him. The voice, it had sounded familiar in the not-nice way. Like he was about to encounter the classic friend-became-an-enemy talking showdown scenario.

As expected, from his current blind side - _why_ had they wrapped up face up like this? - Shego walked around the bed to the foot of it and into his vision.

"You're awake?" she checked through blurry gritted teeth. It made her words sound strangely slurred. "So then…" Shego walked to his left side and leaned over him to look straight into his eye. Without opening her teeth, though moving her lips, she asked, "Are you sane yet? They've been pumping various anti-psycho meds into you. Was hoping one of them was working."

Drakken's left eye bulged in rage. She was acting so, so _casual_ about the condition he was in. What Kim Possible was doing to him. What her betrayal meant for him. How could she be so _unaffected_ by her actions affecting him like this? Did their years together really mean that little?!

He began to pull at his restraints again, not caring that he was going to alert them to his plotting. The mindless utter _fury_ he felt was unparalleled. His very _soul_ burned at how awful what she did to him was. And she was acting like _he_ was the one that went off the rails?!

At his intense struggling, the bindings began to rip. The stupid high-pitched alarm started up again. Shego shook her head and tsked.

"Looks like they still need some time to work," she said. "Shame; you'd think that being on your equivalent of the rag for a week would've seen it pass by now." She reached out towards him, finger again glowing with shifting plasma. "Don't worry, Doc. You're fine."

He most certainly was _not_ fine!

Drakken tried flinching away from her finger, but the head strap was still intact enough to limit him to only a few inches of space. A growl of rage ripped out of his throat. It was only when her finger was just about to his forehead with some desperate thinking that he remembered about his vines. He called on one, aiming to stop her finger before she could knock him out.

To his surprise and fear, the vine was just as sluggish on the sedative. One slowly formed and listlessly crawled out of his gown. He needed it to be faster, fasterfaster _faster_ -..

Her finger pressed against his forehead even as she eyed his plant.

"Looks like they'll have to knock you out for a bit longer. Dunno what's taking so long with the meds, but…"

His vine reached for her hand-..

**DSDSDSDSDS**

What was hopefully a few hours later, the itch of impatience was starting to eat at him. Drakken was trying to reach for some of the patience he'd cultivated for the Diablo plan, to keep him calm and cool while he worked on a plan to get out of there.

Shego didn't seem to stand guard over him all the time. It made sense; it _was_ Shego, after all. She'd probably wormed vacations into that contract just as she had with his.

While part of his mind worked furiously on what he could do to get out of there with the knowledge he had, the rest of him snarled. Stupid Shego! That, that lying _bitch_! She had tricked him, honestly making him believe that she was feeling the same attraction to him as he felt towards her. Taking advantage of his softheartedness. He should've _known_ it was all a lie. No one loved him like that. No one loved him _period_ save for Mother, as the voices reminded him time and again.

And betraying him for _Kim Possible_ of all people… He internally seethed as he struggled not to let his emotions show on his face. Once again the bratty red headed cheerleader got one over on him! Getting Shego to switch sides like that.

Then, a random thought occurred to him in a slowly dawning sort of way.

...how did he know that? Shego betraying him? Knowing she was working with Kim Possible? There… There had to be a reason. Of _course_ there was a reason! It wasn't something that just _popped into your head_. Some kind of thread that he'd pulled on and unraveled it all.

He'd accused her, blamed her before for betraying him. Drakken had been wrong then. She hadn't been tricking him, going behind his back to take him down.

But… But this was different. It _had_ to be different! Maybe… Maybe his accusation had convinced her to change sides? To bed with Kim Possible? Nono, that didn't make sense. He'd covered his bases with his previous plot to defeat the traitorous Shego. She hadn't been wise to his plan.

But…

But then why…? Where did the thought come from? What had led him to deciding Shego was plotting against him?

...he couldn't remember. There had been a reason - there was _always_ a reason - but for the life of him he couldn't remember.

As much as it was an undeniable fact, it was also obvious that there was no proof. That it might as well have been a random thought in his head. He couldn't remember exactly how it had happened...

Had he been…

...wrong…?

Cold flushed him at the thought.

No. Nonono, he couldn't have been wrong again. There was no _way_ he was wrong again! He couldn't, _couldn't_ be wrong! There was a reason, for sure there was a reason! He wouldn't just try to take down someone like Shego, his former best friend and side-ner, for _no reason_.

...but what had it been…?

He was stumped. Drakken reached around in his memory, trying to think… They'd been talking. Talking about the voices and the bugs. She'd been unusually interested in it.

Then… She said she was calling a doctor when he _knew_ she was really calling her superiors. But how did he know-..

He mentally gasped, eye opening wide, as he remembered.

_The Voice_. It had spoken to him. Told him to stop her. That she was betraying him.

Oh god.

Oh god.

Nononono _no_!

He started to scream. Flail. Try, desperately, to make the realization be wrong. Because, _becausebecausebecause_ -..

Again the squealing noise started. Moments later people started flooding in. This time, with the sedatives having slowly dropped in effectiveness over the last few hours of him laying there, he was able to clearly see most of the people. Nurses and others he couldn't identify flocked to his bedside, starting to try and hold his limbs down as they struggled to uncap the needle of a syringe.

It didn't matter.

_None_ of it mattered!

He'd… He'd done it _again_ …! To _Shego_! And he… She…

Drakken needed to get out of there. Away from them. Away from _her_.

His right arm tore free of the straps as he unfortunately punched the person with the needle in the face and knocked back the person trying to hold that arm still. The needle fell to the floor with a soft noise of plastic clicking against the tile. Drakken reached up at his neck and began to try and free himself so he could _run_ -..

"It's okay, folks," a silky smooth voice stated in a strange slurring manner as a familiar form walked up to his bedside. "I've got this."

_Shego_.

Oh god no, nono _no_ he couldn't face her! Couldn't couldn't couldn't-.. How _could_ he?! He'd tried his best to… To…

Another scream ripped from his throat as he again tried to crawl away, get away from Shego as best he could. Vines began to form and curl out of his neck and shoulders in flailing clumps.

"It's okay, Doc," Shego's voice soothed in that odd slur as the bright green light of her finger started up again. "Everything's fine."

He tried to refute it, tried to protest her nonchalance at his actions. Yet again the strange plastic thingamabob in his mouth prevented any actual words from forming. Desperately reaching to his mouth now, to tear the thing out so he could finally talk and beg and whatever else came to his mind, he finally realized why she had been talking funny the last few times he'd heard her.

There were wires across her teeth. Rows matching along them, criss-crossing in a pattern. It almost looked like braces. The corners of her mouth looked like they had been cut somehow, with two inch long scars on either side. They were completely healed - no surprise considering her enhanced healing ability - but the scar tissue wouldn't go away anytime soon.

His stomach flopped, nausea hitting, as he remembered that _he'd_ done that. Grabbed her jaws, tore them apart… The feeling of satisfaction that had rippled through him at the snap and the tearing-..

He began choking then. As he ripped the mouth guard free, ignoring the sharp burning pains across his body and face, he threw up on himself. Shego flinched back and away from the stomach acid that erupted from his mouth before ducking back in to put him under.

Drakken whimpered, face wilted as he stared at Shego. It felt like a horrible privilege that he didn't deserve to even _see_ her.

She placed her glowing finger against his forehead.

He choked out, "I'm so _sor_ -.."


	5. Measure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter goes by a little too fast, but I trust my beta reader's judgment.

Drakken was awake. He'd _been_ awake for a while. Minutes, hours, days, he didn't know. Probably hours if the routines of the hospital staff were any indication. They came in every… Hour? Around there? And checked his fluids, his heartbeat, his blood pressure. Maybe adjusted something here and there before they left. They'd done it three times at this point.

He shifted around a little while there was no one around. Not enough to trip whatever sensor there was that kept going off when he flailed before.

The restraints dug harder into his skin. Whoever had fixed them, changed them, whatever they had done, they tried to make sure he would stay put this time. Drakken wasn't surprised. Amazingly irritated, but not surprised.

The burns he'd suffered from Shego defending herself were healed for the most part. They'd taken the various bandages off of his body when he had been unconscious the last time. The one around his face was still there. Again, fresh bandages smelling of some kind of salve had been put on his face. Drakken had a feeling that his eye wasn't going to get much better.

Good. He deserved it.

He didn't want to let anyone know he was awake. If he had his choice, he would simply remain where he was until everyone forgot about him. Left him to rot away like the nothing he was.

Drakken couldn't deal with it. Any of it. The voices, the bugs, _hurting Shego_ -..

His thoughts broke off. The guilt that ate at him was even worse than the last time that he'd listened to the Voice. But he had the mouth thing in his mouth again. He couldn't throw up. If he did, it had nowhere to go.

...maybe he should just do it. Choke on the vomit. Maybe… Maybe that would solve everything. He also had his vines. They could crush his throat. Maybe he should do that now, get himself out of everyone's hai-..

Drakken froze both physically and mentally as the door opened. Then Shego walked in. He could tell it was her from the click-clack of her boots against the floor. It was different than the nurses and the other hospital people that were around.

He could hear her walk around the side of his bed. She stopped just to his left and seemed to just stand there. Whatever she was doing - probably staring at him for some reason - gave him the heebie-jeebies.

"I can tell you're awake," she suddenly said, no trace of the previous slur in her words.

He mentally cursed out whatever deity there was. Of _course_ his little ruse wouldn't work on Shego. She was too smart for it.

Wordlessly grumbling, he grumpily opened his eye to look at her.

As expected, she was standing over his bed. Her focused gaze made him uncomfortable. It was like she was doing it on purpose!

"Well well well… Looks like sleeping beauty finally woke up!" To his surprise, she looked to be able to fully move her jaw. Her enhanced healing abilities must have kicked in to heal her jaw that fast.

She reached over to someplace that he couldn't see and dragged over… A chair? Yes, a chair. An all-curves plastic one. She set it down next to his bed before she took a step closer and leaned over so she was mere inches from his face. She gave him a critical look, her eyes narrowing as she watched his face. "The last time you were up… When you _almost_ covered me in your nasty puke… You were saying something."

Drakken was slightly frozen. She was acting so… So _okay_. Like he _hadn't_ tried to murder her in a particularly gruesome manner. How could she just, just _be_ like that?!

"What were you saying?" Shego started up again after giving him a moment.

At that he couldn't help but give her an incredulous look before mumbling into the mouth thingamabob, "I can't talk right now!"

As expected, it came out muffled and completely un-understandable.

She gave him a self-satisfied smirk. "Now you know how it feels."

He had no idea what she meant by that beyond now knowing that she was purposely irritating him.

"So…" She slowly said, "It almost sounded like… Well, as _miraculous_ as it would seem, it kinda sounded like an _apology_! Just imagine, _Doctor Drakken_ actually _apologizing_ for something!"

He rolled his eye at the dramatics. It wasn't like it was _that_ rare! There was definitely an apology for the whole mind control chip thing!

When he looked at her, he nearly jumped at the sudden serious expression that was looking back.

"It's a pretty big obvious flag for sanity that you haven't started tearing at your restraints to get out or try and kill me again. And the whatever-that-was that you tried to say… Even if I didn't quite catch what it was, the _tone_ said enough." She kept a critical eye on him as she asked, "Doctor D, are you back on the sane train?"

Hesitantly, he nodded as best he could.

At that, her eyes lost the hard edge in them. "Good. I was starting to really get worried… They've been loading you up with some pretty heavy stuff. Now then…" She reached her hand over and tugged lightly on the mouth guard. "If I take this out, do you promise not to do anything stupid like try to bite your tongue off?"

This time he nodded enthusiastically, the strap struggling to keep him still.

"Whoa now! Don't want to trip the alarm." She started messing with something out of his eyesight before she gave a satisfied hum. " _Now_ you can do that crap. Just don't make me regret it, yeah?"

"Mmph," Drakken said in reply, drawing attention back to his mouth.

"Yeah, yeah…" She pulled the plastic piece out of his mouth carelessly and flopped it somewhere near his bed. He gave an appreciative breath out and wiggled his jaw around. Next she fingered the strap holding his head still. "And if I loosen a few of these, you won't freak out and try to escape?"

He huffed out a frustrated breath and said in an exasperated tone, "No, Shego, I won't try anything funny."

Shego nodded in satisfaction as she undid the straps for his head and chest. He gratefully leaned forward, trying to stretch out muscles that had been sitting still for far too long. A sigh escaped his lips at the itchy feeling from the straps abated in those areas. To his annoyance and confusion, she stood back up and made for the chair.

"What about my hands and legs?" he asked, peeved.

"What _about_ them?" she challenged as she sat and relaxed into the chair. "Do you want me to strap you back down? Frankly, you should take what I gave you. I feel like I'm being pretty generous right now.

"Nnnngh…" He let himself fall into the familiar feeling of Shego-focused irritation. It helped to distract him from-.. _Of course she would leave him tied up_!

"So then…" Shego propped her head into a hand, leaning the arm onto one of her legs. "What should we talk about first?"

"I…" Drakken paused, thinking. Where in the world _did_ they start? There was a lot to unpack...

His gaze lingered on the scars on her face. Then it shift slightly to look at her lips.

"Doc…" Shego shook her head. "Obsessing over what you did while you were messed up won't fix-.."

"You kissed me." He said it plainly, slightly confused. "Why did you kiss me?"

She blinked a few times. "Ooooookay…? Not exactly where I expected that to go…" A smirk played across her lips. "Why do you _think_ I kissed you? I'm _pretty_ sure I'd rambled something off about jumping on the crazy train by wanting to be with you."

"So… It wasn't an accident? Or a lapse in judgment? Or a mood-controlling-.."

"No! My god!" Shego straightened back up and threw her arms in the air. "It's like you've never had this happen before."

"Erm…" He froze, like a deer caught in headlights.

"...right, Doc?" She was watching him curiously now.

"I, ah…" He looked away, flushing. "I-.. I mostly focused on my career in villainy…"

Her lips quirked first. Then she began chuckling. _Then_ she began to full-on laugh.

"Oh my god! You've never been in a relationship before?! That's just-.. Wait!" A wide grin broke across her face. "I bet that means I was your first kiss! Back with the moodulators!"

Drakken scowled. "You don't have to be so _pleased_ about it!"

"Yes I do!" she crowed. "Hahaha!" One of her fists pounded the arm of the chair. Then she straightened back up as she blurted out, "That also means _you're a virgin_!"

" _Shego_ …" he growled, face purpling from a combination of embarrassment and anger. "Your _point_?"

"Point?" A saucy smile plastered itself on her face. "What that means for me is that I get to pop that cherry right out! I don't even have to make you unlearn any bad habits! I can train you from the ground up!" She cackled madly. "Ohhh, this is gonna be so _precious_ …!"

Drakken was fuming now. This wasn't exactly the kind of serious conversation he was picturing when he was bracing himself earlier! That's what he got for going off on that topic!

Deciding it was best to completely derail this particular conversation, he asked harshly, "What have they been putting in me? You said it was 'heavy stuff'. What exactly does that _mean_?"

 _That_ stopped the laughter cold. Shego's expression shifted to surprise with a tinge of shock.

"I, ah… Yeah… I suppose we should talk about that a bit." She calmed down then and pointedly asked, "Have you been having trouble with voices or anything like that?"

Now that she mentioned it… Surprised at the realization, he blurted, "No!"

"Feeling weird at all? Severely swinging emotions, random ideas - beyond your normal _so_ weird ones…" Her eyebrow quirked. "Suicidal thoughts or depression?"

Drakken cringed a little at his earlier thoughts.

Shego's eyes narrowed. Apparently it wasn't a small enough cringe.

"Which box just got ticked?"

"I, erm…" His gaze shifted away from her. The words stuck in his throat. How could admit _that_ sort of thing out loud?

Almost as if she was reading his mind, Shego said slightly aggressively, "How about I list 'em and you nod 'yes' or 'no'." She'd phrased it as a question, but there was none of it in her tone.

Fearfully, afraid of riling up her temper, he nodded.

"Good." Shego listed a variety of random-seeming problems. He was able to shake his head for most of them. It was a little weird… Where did she get this list from?

Then…

"Suicidal thoughts?" Her gaze drilled into him.

Drakken didn't move. He was practically frozen. It was as if admitting it would get him locked back to his bed with the proverbial key thrown away.

" _Suicidal thoughts_?" she asked again, hunching forward onto her knees and staring right into his eye.

Drakken took a deep breath before he gave the barest of nods.

"Okay." Shego sat back up and nodded. "Figured some of the more severe side effects would pop up. They're pumping in high enough doses of antipsychotic meds to knock an average person into their own psychotic fits!"

He cringed. "I'm not _that_ bad, am I?"

"You _tried to kill me_. Because you _honestly believed_ I was banging Kim Possible," Shego replied bluntly.

"Well, erm, I… But…" he spluttered, trying to recover.

"So yeah. You're _that bad_." She shuddered a little and muttered, "Banging Kimmie… Pretty twisted."

After a moment of pause, Drakken tentatively asked, "So, what does that mean…?"

"Hm?" Shego looked back up at him.

"I mean…" He shifted uncomfortably. "The… _Thoughts_ … _That_ stuff…"

"Thou-.. Oh!" Shego crossed her arms. "That's a bit of a tricky one. They don't know which med is doing what right now. All they know is that at least some of them are working now to the point that at least some of your symptoms are under control. Now, with _really bad_ side effects they have to be particularly careful…"

Drakken sat there staring at her. This seemed… Strange. Very normal person. Mundane. Since when did Shego deal with this sort of stuff?

"Why are you here?" he asked in a demanding manner.

"Hm?" Her eyebrow tilted a bit at his question.

"This is pretty normal person stuff for you. And puttering, too!" He eyed her. "Why are you bothering with all of this stuff? Couldn't you have left this to a nurse or whatever while you went to a beach?"

Shego was quiet for a long while. Her lips were pursed, as if there was a thought on the tip of her tongue that she wasn't sure she should share. It was a little unnerving. Finally, she gave a strangely soft smile that was quickly eaten up by a smirk.

"I didn't trust these hacks with you," she said with a shrug. "Figured that if you _really_ wanted you could get out of here. You're dense, but not dense enough to fail a breakout here." A victorious smirk crossed her face as she asked, "And I was right, wasn't I? I foiled _how_ many of your attempts to get out of here?"

Drakken sat, thinking for a moment. "Uhm… Two?"

"Try three," she smarmily corrected. A chuckle escaped her throat at his souring expression. "It's also one of the sub clauses in our contract. I can't ditch out if you're injured."

He looked away and glowered. Of _course_ she only stuck around to make sure he would stay locked up and as part of her contract. After all, she had been his target and she had a reputation to maintain. Best to keep the threat contained in case-..

"...also…"

His head popped up and turned back towards her. That tone…

She'd turned her own head away, but even then he couldn't mistake the expression. Teeth gritting almost like her jaw was wired shut again, she whispered, "If anything had happened to you…"

"Shego…" He tried to lift his hands to reach over and awkwardly comfort her, but could do nothing more than lean forward a little more.

Then suddenly it all vanished like some kind of magic trick.

"And nothing happened to you! Aren't I such a good sidekick? I definitely deserve a raise." Shego was looking at him with one of her patented smirks, though she couldn't hide the slight wetting around her eyes.

Drakken shifted uncomfortably. "Erm, yes, you do."

"I'll hold you to that," she said with a wink. "Anyway…" A calculating look came to her eyes. "I know you have some kind of superstrength and those plants. What other powers do you have?"

"Erm?" Drakken blinked, confused at the change in topic. "Superstrength? I don't have superstreng-.."

Shego cut him off with a wave to her mouth. "Really? You're saying that after almost tearing my damn jaw off? Are you high?!"

He cringed, both at the exclamation and the reminder of _what he did_. Swallowing the guilt and everything down, knowing Shego would try to downplay or deflect it again, he muttered, "Well, uhm, I'm on all these medications so it's a possibility… And I'm sure there are _some_ people out there that can do that?"

"You aren't one of them normally," Shego pointed out flatly. "You barely have the strength to lift a moderately-sized weight. _And_ ," she again waved at herself, "I'm _way_ harder to hurt than an average nobody."

"I, erm, uhm…" If he'd been able to, he would've started twiddling his fingers together. "I guess it was adrenaline?"

"Adrenaline?!" Her head tilted and one of her eyes started twitching. "I can't tell if you genuinely believe it or if you're purposely aggravating me for no good reason."

"Why would I-..!?" he squawked in a slightly panicked voice before he coughed and said more evenly, "Why would I be making you angry _on purpose_?! I just…" Drakken growled and turned his head away. "I just think superstrength is stupid. It's stupid and boring and overestimated!

"It's _also_ useful in a fight," Shego stated. "Y'know, the things we get into all the time?"

"Nnngh…" He couldn't argue the point. So, instead, he began to grumble irritably before commenting, "And _how_ would I have it anyway?"

"I dunno. How do you have your freaky plant powers and the blue skin?" she fired back.

Again he couldn't argue.

"So _what else_ do you have, by any stretch of the imagination?"

"Hrm…" His brow furrowed as he reached around in his brain for all the various oddities about him from his random accidents and such. "I, ah, had my hands and feet shrink… Got twenty-twenty vision… My hair is pretty much stuck at the same length for _forever_ -.."

"Yeah, I noticed that one," Shego deadpanned as she reached over and ruffled his fully restored shoulder-length hair. "Most of this scruff was _burned off_ just last week. I'm sure some bald cure research companies would just _kill_ for whatever you did to get that result!"

His teeth ground together as she gave a petty laugh at his expense.

" _Anyway_..." he growled through clenched teeth. Drakken waited a moment for Shego's laughing fit to quiet down before he continued. "I have an, erm, _unusual_ control over my balance. As long as I'm not surprised I have near-perfect control."

" _Really_? You have a _gymnastics_ superpower?" Shego asked through quirked lips.

"Ice the lip, Shego!" Drakken barked, his cheeks flushing purple.

"And you had the nerve to accuse _me_ of being on the cheerleader's side?" She belly-laughed then, slapping her knee. "Oh no, wait, I bet you were in _Glee Club_! Or, oh, is that why you ended up in the garbage so much? Showing up the other dorks in your ballet class?"

"My ballet class never tossed me in the-.." he sputtered out before he managed to catch himself. Shego stared for a moment. Then, clutching her gut, she nearly fell out of her chair from laughing so hard.

Drakken glowered at her for a minute. Even when they were trying to be serious Shego couldn't help but laugh and mock his misfortune! After being generous and giving her another minute to pull herself together, he growled, "Are you finished yet?"

There were a few false starts on Shego's end, but eventually the full-body guffawing lessened to merely being body shuddering. She wiped at her eyes a bit and nodded, letting out one big sigh.

"Ohhhh goodness, Doctor D…" She chuckled a couple more times. "Just when I think you can't get any more ridiculous…!"

"Nnnngh…" His left eye twitched in frustration. Why couldn't he have developed feelings for someone less antagonistic?

"Oh, lighten up!" Shego rolled her eyes. "It's ridiculously funny and you know it!"

"Hmph!" He made to cross his arms before remembering about being strapped down. Frustrated, he snorted and loudly said, "ANYWAY!"

Shego rolled her eyes again but waved a hand for him to keep going.

He quietly grumbled before resuming, "So, balance… What else…?"

"You're tough," she threw in. At his raised eyebrow, she explained, "You can take hits pretty well. I know that with how hot I was burning I could've roasted most people to the bone with just one blast. It took a _lot_ for me to burn you anywhere _near_ that bad." Her eyes darted to the side for a moment. "Well, except one spot… But I was intentionally aiming there a lot. Weak link and all."

Drakken shifted uncomfortably. He was pretty sure she was referring to his eye and face. Considering her reaction and how it was still hurting and bandaged… How badly had she burned him there?

His expression must have been fully legible even with the massive amounts of bandages on his face as she tried teasing, "C'mon, Doc… It wasn't like you were all that pretty to begin with!"

"Hmph!" He pouted and looked away. Deciding to exaggerate, he grumbled, "Maybe I _like_ having depth perception! Can't believe I'm stuck with these _stupid_ bandages until my eye heals!"

The exclamation made Shego flinch and cringe. It felt… Off. Like bad. Very bad.

Hesitantly, he asked, "Shego…? What's wrong?" His stomach dropped as he postulated, "Is my vision going to be affected? Because I like having my twenty-twenty vision superpower!"

"Uhm…" Shego's eyebrows scrunched together. Biting her lip between sentences, she said, "Well… That's the thing… Uhm… I, ah…"

It wasn't often Shego was so without words. It made him assume even _more_ worse.

"Is it going to develop some kind of tick that will make me nauseous on occasion? Or is it going to sometimes roll into the back of my head? Or-.."

"It's not there anymore."

Drakken froze. Then, stiff smile on his face, he nervously chuckled. "Haha. Nice try! I-.."

"Doc." Her voice was soft, almost careful. "Your eye is gone."

His smile started to twitch. "You're joking, right, Shego?" Desperation entered his tone as he again asked, "Right Shego?"

"It was… It was a mess." She sighed as she struggled to meet his frozen gaze. "When I brought you in… Well," a bitter smile crossed her lips, "a resident ended up throwing up and fainting from the sight. It was pretty much unusable. Probably would've gone gangrenous or something."

"My…?" Drakken gaped at her. When he'd had those self-pitying thoughts earlier… Well, he didn't actually _mean_ that one. Or think there was any substance to it.

But…

"I…" Shego began rubbing her arm. "I'm sorry, Drakken. I couldn't think of another way to stop you. I should've…" Her eyes closed as she took a breath in, apparently trying to think of something, anything, to make it better. "If I'd just-.."

"Shego." The deep somber tone seemed to catch her off-guard, her head twisting up and eyes shooting wide. He met her confused alert gaze with a serious one. Drakken wanted to make sure… This was _important_. He couldn't have Shego thinking it was a joke or any of that kind of nonsense. In the same serious tone, he continued, "You had to make a choice. I was ready to _kill_ you. If…" he swallowed "...if I had to choose between you and my eye, there's no contest."

Shego paused, her face screaming how nonplussed she was. "Eh?" A light then came to her eyes as a vicious smirk crossed her face. "Yeah, I figured as much. After all, what would Doctor Drakken _ever_ do without his precious sideki-.."

"Partner," Drakken corrected testily.

Another flit of confusion passed before another, softer smirk came to her face. "Partner. That sounds about right."

They sat awkwardly for a couple of minutes. It was obvious that neither of them knew what to say after that. What _could_ be said?

Then, suddenly, a thought occurred to Drakken. "Why did you need to know?"

"Hm?" Shego eyed him curiously.

"I mean, about my powers." His head tilted. "It's not like any of them matter all that much."

"Oh, silly Doctor Drakken…" Shego shook her head. "You clearly aren't thinking about it from the right angle."

His eyebrow flattened in consternation. "Enlighten me."

" _Gladly_." A smile came to her face as she hopped up from the chair and began strolling languidly around his bed. "Here we have a chump - that's _you_ \- who's been blessed with a variety of different abilities. Some are _so_ dumb, but others…" she licked her lips. "They're absolutely _beautiful_. Like the balance thing… What cat burglar in the _world_ wouldn't just die to have that! And here _you_ are," she waved a hand vaguely at him, " _wasting_ it! Doing _absolutely nothing_ with them!"

"You're saying it like I'm actively wasting them!" Drakken complained. "I can't even _willingly control_ most of them!"

"Yes! Exactly! Just _imagine_ what you could do if you got all of that under control…!" Shego said in wonder. Her eyes narrowed and a vicious smirk came to her face. "Oh, you'll get those powers of yours under control alright. Even if it kills you."

Drakken gulped.

"...but that's for another time." She circled back around to the left side of his bed. "Now, I think it's about time you went back to sleep. You look absolutely beat."

Now that Shego said it, he really did feel… Tired. Not the down depressed hopelessly lost feeling of earlier. Just worn out. It was probably from talking with Shego so much that made things a little brighter. Even with how _absolutely frustrating_ she was sometimes. That didn't take away the fact that the little they had done had exhausted him. And he had thought he could escape like this…?

"We can talk more later," Shego said in a not-Shego way.

Drakken looked up at her, wondering-..

He was taken off-guard by her lips suddenly pressing into his. Unlike last time, though, he had the presence of mind to try and kiss her back. His eye closed as he sighed at the soft feel of her lips on his. Again he cursed the fact that his hands were tied down as he would have _loved_ to rest his hand on her cheek.

Then his mind hard wrenched right as he felt the scars in the corners of her mouth. He jerked back and away from her, the words 'I did that' rapidly droning over and over, practically drowning out all other thought.

Shego looked offended. Disappointed and offended. She lightly growled, "This one was better than the last one, but that ending needs worked on."

Drakken cringed, wishing he could have just _rolled with it_.

...but the reminder of his actions wouldn't just go away like that. It wasn't something that could easily be glossed over, no matter how much they both wished it could be.

"I-.. I'm-.. Nnnnngh…" For some reason, this time he couldn't get the words out. Instead, he turned his head away so he didn't have to look at Shego's peeved face.

"Hmph." Shego leaned over him and reached across his body for the straps that had been holding him down.

His eyebrow tilted. "What are you-..?"

"I'm strapping you back in," she said plainly.

" _WHAT_?!" Drakken gaped at her even as she pushed him back against the bed. "Why would you do _that_?!"

"Look, Doc, this little pow-wow we just had was great. It made me feel better about the whole situation. But…" She sighed as she got the body strap secured. "...you're still sick. The meds aren't balanced, you've still got some nasty injuries, and, most importantly, you're experiencing some severe side effects from the stuff they have you on. So you're still officially on doctor orders. Don't need you having another freak-out and trying to bite your tongue off again."

Her palm pushed against his forehead as her other hand grabbed for the last strap. He tried resisting but found that he was simply too tired to put up much of a struggle. Before he knew it he was again immobilized against the bed with the stupid alarm turned back on.

"Nnnngh… _Shego_ …!" Drakken was ready to start ranting at her about her actions. Before he could, Shego leaned over him again and kissed his unbandaged cheek, just under his scar.

She said with a smirk, "Don't worry, Doctor D. I'll be around. Just… Not for the next day or so." A hedonistic smile crossed her face. "The beach is calling my name!" A solid evil chuckle escaped her throat as she stood back up and made for the door.

Her hand was just twisting the handle when his mouth worked enough to finally blurt out, "Shego?"

She paused, her back still facing him.

"...th-.. Thank you." The words felt ashy in his mouth.

All he got in response was a low sigh. Then, "I knew I forgot something."

She turned around, marched over to his bedside, grabbed the mouth guard thing, and stuck it back into his mouth while he squawked in offense. It was rough enough that he could've sworn one of the still-healing torn-up bits of his tongue opened back up.

"There! That's better." She gave a wide pleased obviously evil smile. Her work done, she brushed her hands off as she made for the door again. "Now, try to be good for these people, will ya? You've been a big pain in their rear until now!"

Then she was gone.

He stared off at the spot that Shego had last been in. His eye was fighting a losing battle against sleep, the lid drooping lower and lower even as he tried to think.

So, Shego was going to stick around for him, even after he listened to the Voice again… It sounded like he would never have to worry about It again, or any of Its little crawly friends whispering in his ear again. Or the bugs. It was almost… It was too much. Everything happening all at once. Drakken was having trouble processing all of it.

But that was okay. He could take the time later to try and work through every little nitty-gritty thing that had happened to him.

As he drifted back off, more calmly than he had for weeks, he thought…

Things would… They would be better. He wasn't alone anymore. They would be…

... _good._


	6. Recalculate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads-up, this is a rather long chapter...

Kim growled to herself as she drove the Sloth as fast as she could control. Her mind was practically overheating with outrage.

Those two… _Ugh_! They couldn't just stay out of the playing field, could they? Had to go and wreck everything! Couldn't leave everyone at peace! And their timing couldn't have been worse!

"Ah, KP, aren't you going, I dunno… A bit fast?" the voice of her partner asked nervously from the passenger seat.

Kim snapped out of her internal rant to favor him with a chagrined smile. "Sorry Ron. Just… I can't _believe_ these two!"

"Yeah, I kinda get what you mean," the blond said with a nod. "They're out of the villain game for four years, then BAM! They go and steal the double metal heaty things and the Centurion Project."

"Bi-metal superheat material," Kim corrected. "Yeah. They couldn't have gone for something less rare or versatile, could they? Just _had_ to go for stuff that would need us to handle it."

"During finals week!" Ron blurted.

Kim snarled, " _I know_. I'm missing _three_ finals just to deal with this!"

"It's okay, KP," Ron soothed. "It's probably just coincidence. And hey, your professors'll totally let you redo them!"

"Yeah…" The redhead sighed, hoping he was right. Two of them were pretty understanding, but the third one, Professor Wrigley… Kim was already on thin ice with her for all the practicals she missed over the semester. There was only so much flexibility to things before they finally snapped.

"So what's the plan?" her partner asked.

"It's just Drakken and Shego. Should be no big," Kim said with a wave of a hand. She flexed a fist as she laughed, "They couldn't even handle us _before_. Now? I don't think so. Just barge in and break whatever they're making. We don't even have to worry about not having Rufus! Shame he had to go in for his shots."

"You've got a point…" Ron said. "You have the new super suit-.."

"In my old mission outfit design," she noted with a light chuckle. "They definitely won't be expecting the barrier and the built-in grappling hook when they see me."

"And I've got the MMP at my disposal!" he gesticulated brightly with an exaggerated wave at his more gi-like mission outfit in the same black and beige of his old mission clothes. A cringe was followed by a nervous, "Well, _kinda_."

"You have your monkey ninja mastery to draw on," Kim reassured him. "Just because you can't sustain the MMP for long doesn't make you any less. I mean, you _are_ an expert at monkey kung-fu and general ninja stuff."

"Gotta be more conservative!" Ron said with a nod. "Save the MMP for if Drakken's vine thingies try and tie us up."

"If I don't bust us out first," she chuckled in a teasing tone. "It's not like they're _that_ big of a deal. Probably the only thing he'll even have!"

"Slapfight Ron is a thing of the past!" he proudly stated. "I'll knock him out with a chokehold or something."

"Good plan. By then I should have Shego wrapped up too." Kim checked the car's GPS and smirked. "Looks like we're almost there."

"Yeah! I can… See… It…?" Ron said, staring off into the distance. Confused, he asked while pointing ahead, "Hey, ah, KP… Is it just me or is it a little more… Green?"

"Hm?" Kim looked to where Ron was pointing. Sure enough, there was a cloud of green on the horizon. She double-checked the navigational system just to make sure it was right. Surprised, she murmured, "I guess Drakken was serious about going green after all…"

As they flew closer the details began to stick out. Palm trees of varying sizes stood out among the various lower-hanging foliage, their fronds waving gently in the wind. Small shrubs and the beginnings of what looked like tropical trees were scattered about with a variety of colorful flowers interspersed between them. Vines, thick and heavy-looking, hung from the occasional branch.

All in all, it looked like the start to a tropical paradise.

"This is _so_ weird," Kim said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah… Like, what happened to the rocky shores and the 'haunted' signs?" Ron asked as he scratched his head. "Drakken isn't exactly known for change."

"It _has_ been four years," she reminded her partner. "He probably fell into the gimmick and overplayed it. It _is_ one of the few things he's done right."

"That's true…"

The redhead shrugged, noting as they began to fly over the flora, "Well, it's not like it changes anything. Just gotta find somewhere a little farther away and flatter to land the Slo-.."

Suddenly the car jerked violently. Forcefully, it was dragged down closer and closer to the ground. Kim stomped on the gas as she yelled, "Ron! Figure out what's-.."

"Already on it, KP!" He unbuckled and hopped up to a standing position. Kim was glad they had done the journey with the top down. Bending over the side of the car, he called out, "The vines are attacking us! Got some starting to curl up around the back!"

"What?" Kim spared a quick glance behind her. Sure enough, tendrils of plants were beginning to latch on to the back of the Sloth. They swiftly made their way up towards the seats. The car was slowly being brought to tree level.

"Do you happen to have anything sharp?" Ron asked, trying to swat the incoming plants away.

"Here, let me try…" Kim flexed her arm in a specific way, calling her barrier into action. She adjusted it to try and form it around the Sloth. The blue translucent shield formed around them, cutting the vines off at the edge of the bubble. The vehicle shuddered slightly as it zoomed back into the sky. Wincing at the new chugging noise her car was making, she tentatively queried, "Uhm, Ron? What's the sitch?"

"It, ah, looks like…" He cringed as he sat back down. "Yeah, it's gonna need some work now. It's all crumpled up back there."

Kim sighed, then growled. Stupid Drakken and Shego… Actually booby-trapping the island! She probably should've seen it coming. But… Nothing to be done about it now.

Eventually they came to a more barren edge of the island. Carefully Kim set the Sloth down and deactivated the barrier. A few tense moments later saw the redhead letting out a sigh of relief. She'd been worried that it was like that across the entire island. It was good to know there were _some_ safe places around.

"Okay. So…" Ron got out of her car and looked at her. "What's do we do now, KP?"

Kim thought for a second. "We can't go through the trees. Those vines will trip us up. But maybe…" She pointed towards where the lair was against the rocky cliff edge of the shore. "If we stick to the beach area and climb up, we should be able to make it there okay."

"Gotcha!" Ron checked his gloves over before saying, "I think I'm good to go. How about you?"

Kim did a once-over of her equipment. "I should be good." She waved at her partner. "Let's go!"

Ron skipped ahead of her along some of the rocks. The redhead took a moment to look at her car.

The entire back end was crumpled up. There wasn't a chance of getting the trunk open, and _good luck_ with trying to pop the top back from where it was withdrawn into the car. Even the wheels looked slightly lopsided.

Kim's eyes narrowed. Oh, she was going to punch Drakken _super_ hard for this one.

**DSDSDSDSDS**

It was nearly a half-hour later that the two of them finally broke into the lair. It was no big; the air ducts were the same as normal. No boobytraps or anything! So much for thinking Drakken had gotten his act together…

The two heroes silently crawled through the oversized ducts, taking the familiar path to the main laboratory of the lair. It was almost nostalgic, in a way. Thinking back to her high school days of stopping silly supervillain plots… Not that she didn't still do that. There was just something almost like a lost frenemy feeling to thwarting one of Drakken's plots.

Eventually the two came to the specific vent that was just above the large lab. Kim peeked through to get a read on the situation and try to plan the best way to take the two down.

The two villains were at one of the large tables against the wall, Shego propped up against the edge standing while Drakken sat hunched over the desk working on something or another. They were strangely quiet, though Shego looked rather impatient. The only noise was a soft hum that came from the blue villain. There were small vines lining the walls, worrying Kim for a moment, before noticing they were burred into the stone. It made sense; it wasn't like they could tell friend from foe. They would be just as likely to attack Shego and Drakken as they would Kim and Ron. Probably just an aesthetic choice.

Kim's eyebrows raised as she took in the two villains, trying to catch every detail she could in case they had added a gadget trick or two to their arsenal.

Their outfits were way different than their old style.

Drakken was wearing what looked like a double-breasted overcoat that flared out at the top and bottom, the collar laying loosely along his collarbone and the bottom stopping mid-thigh. It buttoned up down the middle and had sleeves that tightly trailed down to tuck into his gloves. To her surprise, there were no shoulder pads, the coat laying flat against his shoulders. Very reminiscent of a classic lab coat. It was in his usual colors, dark blue with a black belt, gloves, and boots. The boots looked more heavy-duty and there was something… _Weird_ about the gloves. She couldn't tell what it was from this distance. It was rounded out with pants that, from what she could see, also laid tight on his frame.

Drakken himself… Well, he mostly looked the same. Same light blue skin, same dark hair in a ponytail, same scar on the left side of his face… There was one glaringly big difference: an eyepatch over the right side of his face. Not a small one like Doctor Director or Gemini had. It spanned from the middle of his forehead across and diagonally from the dip of his brow and ending near the edge of his jaw. The other side formed a triangle, pulling up at an angle along his hairline. It was kept in place by three straps, two on the top and bottom right edges of the patch and a third one stretching from the corner along his hairline back behind his head. Strangely there was flowery light blue filigree all along the edges of the patch.

Shego looked about the same physically too, though there was something off about her mouth. Kim couldn't tell what was weird about it. Just that it was different.

The villainess was wearing her usual color scheme. She had on green thigh-high boots that covered up what look like black latex leggings. A long-sleeved latex blouse that buttoned up in a similar manner to her old catsuit fit annoyingly nicely on her frame, with the same color pattern to boot. She had on the same old gloves and belt. Strangely it felt like something was… Missing. Like some kind of forgotten memory. Maybe a cape? Impractical, but it seemed to be like a piece of the puzzle.

All in all, the change looked like it fit the two. Even if Drakken's stuff seemed feminine even for him and the patch looked stupid as all get out.

"You ready, Ron?" Kim quietly asked her partner.

"Yup! The Ronman is ready for ac-.." He suddenly cut himself off. Then, sheepishly, corrected, "Yeah, uh, nix that. Totally have my pants caught on the vent thingy back here."

"Go ahead and get it off," the redhead whispered, sparing a quick glance behind her. "We can take a moment to watch and listen in and figure out their plan."

"Gotcha!" Ron began wiggling his hand around on the snagged chunk of pants in an attempt to get it free. Somehow even with the erratic movement the blond was able to stay silent enough for them to not be noticed.

A minute or so passed with nothing happening. Then…

"A-HA!" Drakken raised up a small round-looking object. "I've finished!"

" _Took_ you long enough!" Shego snatched whatever it was out of his hands and looked it over. "Size 5.5, right?"

"Of course!" Drakken sounded offended. "Otherwise how would it fit?"

"Poorly," the green woman snickered before slipping the item onto her finger. She seemed to admire it as she noted, "Yeah, gotta admit it fits really well. The etching is nice too. Surprised you managed-.."

Her words cut off as the item seemed to shift form, appearing to grow up against her finger.

"...so, _why_ did it just clamp onto my finger?" Shego asked with a tinge of anger.

"That's the Centurion part of it!" Drakken exclaimed excitedly, clearly preening. "It's now latched onto your finger based on your emotions. As long as you're not feeling very happy or vulnerable it won't come off."

"Uh huh. And what purpose does that serve?" The skepticism was loud and clear in her question.

"Well, you'll have a lot of trouble losing it," he said plainly. After an awkward pause, Drakken reluctantly added, "And I wanted to make sure if you took it off it was for a good reason. One that didn't involve you clearly being taken romantically. I mean…" Nervousness leaked into his voice, "I _do_ make you happy and let you feel like you can let your hair down, right?"

"It isn't _that_." Kim could hear the eye roll. "It's just inconvenient. What if I wanted to take my gloves off? This thing's kinda blocking that."

"Oh. Right," Drakken said disappointedly. "I guess I'll have to modify it some…"

"Okay, KP," Ron whispered from behind her. "Got my pants free! Glad I noticed that before we tried busting 'em…"

"Your situational awareness is getting better," she quietly noted with a smile.

"Thank you ninja training!" the blond crowed a little too loudly.

The villains below them paused. Then Drakken asked, "Shego, did you hear something?"

"Yeah…" The green woman looked around and took on a loose defensive posture. "Sounded like do-gooders to me."

"You heard right!" Kim said as she busted through the air duct grate to land several feet away from the two. Ron followed just behind her, taking one of his monkey kung-fu poses, clearly ready for a fight. The redhead felt pride swell in her at how alert and ready he was even if it was just Drakken and Shego.

"We're here to stop whatever you plan on doing with the metal thingy and the Centurion Project!" Ron declared, sparing a moment to point a finger at the two villains.

"Ha! You're _too late_!" Drakken boomed, following it up with an evil laugh. "I've already finished what I was going to use them for! Behold!" He waved his hands grandly in Shego's direction. More specifically, her hand. "I have crafted a ring which can withstand Shego's plasma powers! When the bi-metal superheat material heats up from her plasma, instead of melting it changes molecular structure to be _even harder_! She'll never have to worry about melting it off! And the Centurion Project-.."

"We, uh, heard that part…" Kim interrupted. The two heroes looked at each other, confused. What…?

"So let me get this straight…" Ron said slowly as he turned his gaze back to the two villains, putting a hand up. Then, in sync with his words, he waved it up and down. "You two… Stole the double metal whoseawhatsits… And the Centurion thing… To _make jewelry_ …? When they're both totally dangerous enough… To make superweapons?"

"A wedding band!" Drakken corrected peevishly.

"Right…" Kim and Ron shared another look. Then, smirking, the heroine turned to Shego and said, "And here I thought you had better taste! Hooking up with Drakken like _that_? I mean, there was _something_ going on, but I figured it was all on Drakken's end!"

"Ex _cuse_ me?!" The blue villain puffed up in offense. "What exactly does _that_ mean?!"

"Now now, Doctor D. Don't hold her stupidity against her," Shego tsked. She then sneered at Kim. "And you expect me to believe that you picking that dork over there is much better?"

"Drakken has _nothing_ on Ron!" Kim growled in reply. "Ron is charming in a goofy way, wonderfully weird, boyishly cute, dependable, and _nice_! What does _Drakken_ have? Huh? Nothing! Nothing _worthwhile_ , anyway. _Look_ at him!" The redhead waved a hand at him as if he were exhibit A. "He's _ugly_ , inside _and_ out! Whiny! Needy! Don't even _mention_ that stupid eyepatch… What kind of attempt to look more menacing _is_ that? Gemini and Doctor Director pull it off _much_ better."

Shego's face twisted in an ugly way at the last comment. "Those two-bit hacks don't even _need_ their stupid eyepatches! Doc-.." To both Kim and Shego's surprise, Drakken put a calming hand on Shego's arm. Shego snapped her head over to glare at her boss who was now looking up at her. "What are you-.."

"Now now, Shego, we shouldn't hold her stupidity against her," he parroted back at her. Somehow that seemed to calm the villainess down. His eye went from giving her a soft look to suddenly staring at Kim studiously. Smirking as he stood from his stool, he asked, "So, Kim Possible… You think my patch is stupid?"

"Well _duh_!" Ron blurted. "Like, it doesn't even fit your theme!"

Drakken's head tilted in mocking curiosity. Slowly he took a step towards the heroes. "Would you like to see what's under it?"

Kim frowned. It seemed pretty straightforward. But at the same time it felt like some kind of trap. Why did he look so amused? Was there something they were missing?

Heedless of her thoughts, Ron said, "What, do you have a scratch on your face of something?"

"Not exactly." Drakken took another step. Then another step. His feet took him to just a few steps away from Kim and Ron. He reached up and slipped a thumb under the bottom of the eyepatch. "Are you ready?"

Ron rolled his eyes at the dramatics while Kim… Well, she wasn't sure _what_ to expect. The way Drakken was acting… The redhead spared a glance at Shego. The green woman was intently watching her and Ron, apparently interested in their reactions.

He lifted up the patch-..

Kim has been expecting a cut. Maybe even a scarred-up abrasion. Certainly nothing of much value. But what was there…

A hole. Where there should have been an eyeball was empty. Nothing. Not even eyelids were present. To her queasy relief, she couldn't see all the way into the opening, the shadows preventing it. Around the socket bone was clearly visible, shining in the light. The skin that had been hidden by the large patch was wrinkled and twisted around the hole, looking almost like an ugly light blue whirlpool. His eyebrow had patchy little bits of hair that stuck out but was otherwise also burned off.

"OH MY GOD!" Ron began to choke, grabbing at his mouth. He dry heaved a few times, bending over and shuddering each time.

Kim was also having trouble with a rebelling stomach. It took a few swallows and averting her gaze from Drakken to get it under control.

"Oh? Nothing _sarcastic_ to quip?" the villain asked in a confident satisfied tone. Out of the corner of her eye she could see him replace and adjust the eyepatch, centering it back over the hole that once held his eye. "And here I thought you were made of harder stuff than that!"

Ron wiped at his mouth as he blurted out, "Dude, how do you LIVE with that?! That's so _nasty_!"

"It's not as bad as you'd think," Drakken said evenly. "Shego helps me clean it out every other day and I've gotten used to the lack of depth perception."

"Like, how did that even _happen_? Did one of your inventions blow up in your face super hard when you were staring at it? The owie looks all burn-y!"

Kim was wondering that as well. What in the world could've hurt Drakken like _that_? The man could take explosions to the face and hitting a mountain head-on. It would've had to be something pretty nasty to manage to even hurt him, let _alone_ leave a gruesome mark like that.

"I don't like to talk about it," Drakken said flatly as he walked back over to Shego. "It was a bad point in my life that only had one good thing come of it."

His back was to them, but the last few words had an unmistakable smile to them. Gently, almost shyly, he took one of Shego's hands in his own and squeezed. Shego, who had been watching on with a satisfied smirk, turned her gaze to Drakken, her mouth shifting to a soft barely-mocking smile. But… There was something there… Almost… Sadness? Guilt, maybe?

A wild thought jumped into her head.

"...Shego did that, didn't she?" The question froze the two villains where they were. The expression on Shego's face was all that was needed to answer her question.

"What?" Ron looked between Drakken and Shego, his face twisting in disgust as he realized the same thing. "Dude, that's _messed up_."

Drakken then turned to Ron, fury etched into every corner of his face. "Don't you DARE take that tone! You don't know why she had to-.."

"Doc." The word made Drakken whip his head back over to Shego. An amused smile was on her face, one that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Don't worry about it. Poor lil' Kimmie just wouldn't understand. Her and her trained monkey's opinions don't matter."

"Drakken…" Kim instantly regretted her earlier words. "I… I know you don't have much going for you. But putting up with violence like that isn't ri-.."

She was cut off by laughter. Actual genuine laughter with none of the bombastic nature from Drakken. The fact that he was _laughing_ at being so thoroughly permanently damaged from an abusive partner made Kim nauseous all over again.

"Shego's right! Your little pea brains wouldn't be able to handle the explanation," Drakken agreed with a nod. "I'll just say that it's a lot more complicated than a simple burned-out eyeball."

"Yeah, uh, ew?" Ron shuddered. "Just hearing you _say_ that is gross."

"Whatever." Shego rolled her eyes and asked, "So, can you two kids go away now? We have reservations at my favorite resort for an early honeymoon."

That roused Kim from her pitying thoughts for Drakken. His situation was horrible, but that didn't change why they were there. She shot back, "Not without what you stole! Give it up."

"Oh please." Drakken waved a hand. "There's no point. I reworked it so it can't change shape beyond what I programmed into it. It's _worthless_ to them now!"

"Hm…" Ron thought for a second. "Y'know, I don't see the point either. Well…" he scratched his head "...maybe if they try to use it as a really weird gasket sorta thing?"

"It's the principle of the thing," Kim said, taking a step towards the villains. "Let us have it… Unless you want us to beat you just like we always do?"

Drakken and Shego shared an amused grin. With an evil smile, Drakken said, "Oh please, _do_ try. It would be a delightful beginning to our honeymoon and return to villainy to best our old foes!"

The confidence was annoying. Once again Team Possible was being underestimated. ...it was okay. That just meant this wouldn't take long.

"So, how're we gonna do this?" Ron asked. "I mean, there's no doomsday weapon to stop… No countdown… Like, it's been a while since we've even _seen_ each other. What do we do?"

"Pair off. Me and Kimmie on one side, you and Doc on the other," Shego said, pointing across the large room. "No holds barred knock-down drag-out fight. Just like old times! Right, Princess?"

"As if Drakken would last long enough to do anything but flail around!" Kim said with a roll of her eyes. "But yeah, if you want to play it like _that_ I guess it'll work out."

"Good." Drakken nodded to the other side of the room. "Let's go, Buffoon!" Suddenly rushing, he blurted, "Dibs on the side closest to the door!"

"Hey, that's not fair!" Ron called out as he quickly followed. "You already have home team advantage!"

"Too bad!"

Kim shifted her gaze from the retreating backs of the boys to Shego. The green woman was propped up on one leg, hip cocked and a confident smile on her lips. She stretched her arms out before shifting her form to a more combat-ready one.

"You about ready, Cupcake?" Shego asked, flexing her fingers.

"I'm _always_ ready." Kim took her own pose and wondered… Why wasn't Shego lighting up?

"Good."

They stood for a few moments sizing each other up.

"OH MY GOD THERE'RE SO MANY OF THEM!" Ron screamed from the other side of the room. Kim spared a glance in their direction to see her partner dodging and dancing between at least a half-dozen vines swiping and grabbing at him. They were all coming out from the loose collar, Drakken looking amused as he waved his hands in a strange manner, apparently controlling them based on his arm movements.

"Pay attention, Kimmie!" Shego called out. Kim looked back over at the green woman and raised an eyebrow. She had lit up… But it was just her fingertips. Strange… Why did she wait to do that?

Then, even stranger, the flames began to gather at the ends of her fingers before almost magically falling off and softly flying around aimlessly. Shego let out a villainous laugh as orb after orb formed from her fingertips and floated into the air. They wavered and pulsed randomly as they spread out from her.

Kim was wary of the seemingly harmless balls of plasma. They couldn't be harmless with Shego laughing like she was. But what could they-..

"Bye-bye, Princess," the green woman purred. She then flexed her fingers.

The words were all the warning Kim needed. She threw up her shield.

It wasn't a second too soon.

Suddenly every single ball flew at the redhead. They struck the shield solidly, each making a strange fizzling sound as they did so. The shield rippled in those spots but otherwise held up against the onslaught. It was almost a solid minute later when the last of the plasma balls failed to penetrate the barrier.

"Nice try, Shego," Kim said with a smirk as she deactivated the barrier. "Looks like you have a nice new trick. I guess even old dogs can learn."

"Eh, it's true. I can be a real _bitch_ sometimes, can't I?" the other woman shot back, letting the barb Kim threw out roll off her back.

"Is that all you've got?" the redhead asked. "Done playing around?"

"I was just testing something is all…" Shego noted. "Was wondering if you had anything for me to worry about. That little shield of yours is plenty annoying…" her hands lit up all the way, covering them in shifting plasma "...but nothing I can't handle."

"Oh _please_ Shego," Kim said with an eye roll. "Don't flatter yourself."

"Go ahead and doubt me. I don't care. Actions speak louder than words, after all." With that, Shego did a sort of double-hop that turned into a flying roundhouse kick.

Kim blocked it with a forearm and lashed out, activating the concussive gauntlet around her wrist to increase the impact of her punch. It landed solidly into Shego's side, sending her skidding across the ground. By some miracle the villainess stayed standing. She brushed off her side and let out a short breath.

"Oof, Kimmie; I actually felt that!" Shego cocked her head to the side. "Looks like I'm not the only one with new tricks."

"Of _course_ I upgraded. Not being prepped for fights like this was _so_ last season," Kim quipped. Smirking, she said, "Now do you see how you can't win? You might as well give up now."

"Not a chance!" Shego spent a second concentrating before firing off a quick volley of plasma balls. Each looked larger than the little ones she had produced earlier and seemed to make the air waver and bend around them.

Kim shifted her hand in a certain way to bring out the cesta function of her suit. It swiftly formed around her fist. She used it to scoop up the various balls as they came at her. To Kim's surprise, the suit began to burn where the plasma came in contact with it. Instead of tossing it back at Shego like she had planned, she tossed it to the side.

It exploded against the wall next the where the two boys were fighting. Strangely neither of them reacted, both being too busy exchanging blows to notice. Ron was on the offensive, tossing out punches and kicks like a pro. Unfortunately, somehow, Drakken was dodging just as expertly, taking odd poses that should have sent him crashing to the floor from being off-balance. In addition, he was throwing his own jabs and feints. It made Kim think of a boxer.

She turned back to Shego and was surprised to find that she had also taken a quick glance at the other two fighters. A confident proud smirk came to her lips.

"I bet you weren't expecting _that_ , were you?" she said, pointing her thumb towards them. "Figured Doc would fall like a house of cards, right?"

"It's still no big," Kim said with a shrug. "Ron hasn't even brought out the big guns."

Shego gave Kim an evil smile. "What a coincidence! Neither has Doctor D!"

Kim rolled her eyes. Like Drakken had anything better than his plants!

"You doubt, but I fully expect Drakken to come out on top." The green woman resumed a combat pose. "Now that that little intermission is done, you ready to keep going?"

"Always." Kim gave Shego a 'come hither' motion.

"Okay, Princess. You want me to come to you. You got it!" Shego charged, claws out and at the ready to swiped at Kim.

The redhead dodged to the side of her outstretched hand. To Kim's surprise and consternation, Shego pivoted on her left leg and knocked the heroine off-balance with a knee. Then, a vicious grin on her face, she struck her palm out, aiming for Kim's exposed chest. Shego's plasma was again causing the air to waver. All of Kim's instincts _screamed_ at her to get out of the way of the strike. The redhead tried to duck back away from the hit. She partially succeeded; instead of hitting her full in the chest, it grazed her belly. It didn't stop the searing pain of the plasma from eating clean through the supersuit. Kim was certain that she would suffer at least first degree burns from the glancing blow.

Kim shot out a sweeping kick, hoping to force the villainess back. Sure enough, Shego flipped backwards and out of Kim's striking range. Settling back onto her feet, the green woman laughed.

"Like my new and improved control?" Shego asked, flaring her plasma with a flex of her fist. "I gotta admit, before I was pretty careful about how strong my flames were. _Hate_ the smell of burning flesh. But…" she let out a snippet of a laugh "...I realized that I was holding myself back for no reason. It wasn't like I'd be _forced_ to burn that strong. I can control myself if need be! And it's true! I can burn anywhere from only enough to produce some light…" the flames died down to barely a flicker "...to sun hot."

Kim ended up flinching back from the heat as green plasma burst to life all along Shego's arm. The air shimmered and wavered in a halo around the villainess and the redhead swore she could smell ozone.

The battlesuit regenerated over the burn, again ready to protect her. It didn't stop the pain. Just made it harder for Shego to hurt her. Kim was certain that without the suit protecting her she would've easily gotten second degree burns.

Kim backed up a few steps, running through her various options in her mind. It was a tricky situation she was in. It was clear that Shego had the advantage in close combat. If need be, the villainess could simply turn the heat up and continue to strike glancing blows. Even one solid hit would result in a debilitating injury.

Long distance… Shego could shoot those plasma balls around as much as she liked. Keep up her own offense. But… That way, Kim had room to breathe. She could catch and return those blasts if she was careful enough, and what she couldn't catch she could stop with her force field.

It was the best way Kim saw to victory.

Shego tensed up, clearly ready to close the distance, when a blue blur flew between the two women and hit the wall with a resounding boom. Both of them stopped to gape at who it was.

Drakken was implanted straight into the wall next to a set of shelves and cabinets. It was with so much force that the rock was cracked and caved in around him. The cracks criss-crossed like a spider web. Kim could see his lip was bleeding profusely and a black eye was forming on his only eye. He also looked to be bleeding from a gaping wound in his shoulder.

They then simultaneously turned to look at Ron.

The blond was glowing with a blue aura, one fist sticking out like he had just delivered the blow while the other held a jerking vine, bloody at the end closest to him. His face was pinched in concentration. To Kim's surprise, it looked like he'd taken some pretty solid hits; his gi was torn in several spots, blood leaking through, while the left side of his face was clearly beginning to swell

Nevertheless, Kim smirked. Now that Drakken was taken care of, Ron could help her with She-..

Her thoughts cut off as she heard a snarl from the other direction. Shocked that he was still conscious, she turned to look at the blue villain.

He looked _enraged_. Positively frothing at the mouth. Drakken tore himself free of the wall and began stomping back over towards Ron, yelling as he did so.

"I have a 38 inch waist! _These are men's clothes_! My patch is _not_ stupid; Mother sewed it special _just for me_! And I will _NOT_ stand for you running your mouth like that about Shego!" Under his breath Kim heard him mutter, "He wants it brought… _Ohhhh_ I'll bring it all right…!"

Kim blinked, nonplussed as he passed without acknowledging either woman. Shego watched Drakken's back with some concern while Kim looked to where Drakken had shot into the wall.

Looking at all the damage caused by the villain's impact made Kim feel uneasy. This was supposed to be easy. It was _Drakken_ and _Shego_ for crying out loud! Yeah, it was true that Shego was pretty vicious in hand-to-hand. But overall? Professor Dementor was more competent on his _bad_ days! Yet…

Kim's eyes moved to resume watching Shego when she did a double-take at one of the shelves Drakken's impact had almost knocked over. Suddenly Kim knew how to even the hand-to-hand combat.

Without warning, she shot her grappling hook from her wrist into the wall over the shelves and cabinets. As she zipped to just above them, she heard Shego call out, "Oh, running away now, Princess? That's so unlike you!"

"You wish!" Kim positioned herself _just_ so above the various types of shelving and pushed at them with her feet.

If she had been relying on her own strength, it would have been questionable if the redhead could have managed to push them over. With the enhancement from the supersuit, though, it was easy enough.

With a loud crash and the sounds of various glassware and plastics breaking the shelving and cabinets gave way. They were a good several feet short of the villainess.

"I think your aim was a _little_ off there," Shego snickered, heedless of the pool of various liquids starting to spread out from the mess. The green woman shrugged and noted, "If you were trying to give Doctor D a headache, you've probably succeeded. Otherwise? No point."

"Oh, there was most definitely a point," Kim said confidently as she let herself drop onto the wreckage of the shelving. A smug smile on her face, she pointed out, "What do you think those chemicals are?"

"What? This stuff?" Shego dipped a toe into the spreading pool and laughed. "If you thought those were Doc's dangerous chemicals, think again! I stopped letting that idiot store his sodium hydroxide and such in the main lab _years_ ago!"

"Looks like you should've invested in a fire cabinet," Kim said, trying to keep from getting too excited over changing the scales to favor her again.

"A fire-.." A light lit up in the villainess's eyes. "Ohh, I get it." She spared a moment to bend over and take a quick sniff of the liquid. "Yeah, this is the doc's stock of flammables alright…" Shego almost looked proud as she murmured, "Clever girl."

"Good luck trying to beat me without your plasma," the redhead snickered. "I'll just wrap you up and then go help Ron out with Drakken."

"Oh my, aren't _we_ cocky today!" Shego tilted her head and tsked at Kim. "You seem to forget that while I can burn hot enough to set anything and everything in here on fire…" her hands lit up, the air around them barely shifting "...I can also burn low enough to not worry too much about setting things ablaze."

"And you think I should be worried about that?" Kim chuckled. "My supersuit can take temps up to 250 degrees!"

"I'm guessing Fahrenheit? 'cause that would be quite the hat trick if it were Celsius! And I doubt you snatched any of the material for my suit…" A smirk danced across the green woman's face.

"Let's get this going." The heroine hopped down, then propelled herself to land just beyond the pooling liquid. She landed lightly, just a few feet from Shego, before closing the distance in the blink of an eye. Her fist lashed out, intent on knocking the lights out for the villainess.

Shego let herself lean backwards and out of the way of Kim's fist, the pull of gravity bending her back onto her hands. The villainess's feet lashed out as she flipped over. Kim took a quick hop back and out of the way before she charged back in.

It went on like that for a good few minutes. Back and forth, each causing small bruises and cuts with each exchange of blows. Neither giving or taking any ground. Fists flew, axe-kicks fell, haymakers flashed. It was an unfortunately even fight.

Until it happened.

Shego sent a flaming slice of her claws at Kim's face, leaving a trail of burned skin and blood in its wake. The redhead twisted her body and managed to position herself so she had a clear shot at Shego. Mocking green eyes suddenly widened in panic as Shego realized too late she had overextended herself. Kim unleashed a one-two set of punches with her gauntlet and was certain she heard something in the villainess's collarbone crack.

Kim saw the flash of anger and desperation in Shego's face before anything happened. It was a good read on Kim's part that saw her activate her forcefield.

The shield burst to life as Shego risked setting the chemicals alight with a full-fisted ball of shifting plasma. Just as suddenly, to Kim's shock, the intense heat from Shego's fist popped it. Shego's fist was slowed but didn't stop as she found her target.

It wasn't Kim's face. Not her chest. Not even a shoulder. It was her right forearm. The main controls for the supersuit.

In a bright flash and sudden horrible burning pain Kim felt the extra senses and power she got from the suit short out. The burning was so intense that everything flashed white for a few moments. The redhead clung onto consciousness, screaming in her own head about how she couldn't leave Ron alone with those two.

She came back to reality as quickly as she left. Kim caught herself from falling, stumbling slightly from the shock of the blow. Shego was standing several feet away now, gingerly poking her collar area.

"You got me pretty good! I won't be able to go for much longer. But _you_ …" Shego sneered. "Looks like I gave better than I took, eh? Can you even _use_ that arm anymore?"

Kim fumed, secretly trying and failing to flex her fist. She spared a glance at it and felt her stomach flop. It was a smashed charred pile of circuits and blood. At least, she _assumed_ it was blood. It was black and burning, with little wisps of smoke still rising from it. It was twisted and melted enough that she couldn't tell where the suit ended and her arm began. A feeling of panic took her as she realized her hand was numb.

Instead of giving in to the brief unworthy feeling, she changed her pose to favor her other side and began mentally running through the various forms and such that she could use to try and compensate for the new handicap.

"This is nothing." Kim shook her head. "If you think this is going to stop me, think again!"

"Aw, is someone grumpy that they're getting their butt kicked? Shame about your arm! Hope you're ambidextrous!" Shego have an evil chuckle. "Anyway, Kimmie, I think it's close to time to wrap this up, don't you? The boys are getting close to running on empty."

Kim spared a glance at the other two to find that she was right. Ron and Drakken were still fighting, but there was something… Sluggish about it. Ron has lost his glow and was favoring one of his legs while Drakken's left arm hung limply against his side as his right arm and two vines continued to assault Kim's partner.

"I think you're right." Kim spread her legs out into a more kick-heavy style. "Let's get this done."

They both stood there, watching each other. Kim was determined to not make the first move. She needed the extra few seconds to gauge and react to whatever Shego was planning.

Shego seemed to realize Kim's plan after a minute. "Scared? That's okay. I'll go first. Save your poor frayed nerves. Well, what's _left_ of them, anyway!"

The villainess charged, claws alight. The temperature was again lower, but Kim wasn't sure the suit's thermal coating worked if the controls were fried. So Kim decided to stick to dodging.

Or at least she would have.

Suddenly, with a split-second of warning in her peripheral vision, she found herself flying sideways as Drakken was rammed into her. They tumbled to the ground in a pile. Dazedly the redhead noted that Ron had employed a classic football tackle in taking Drakken and, by accident, Kim to the floor. Ron was laying on them, trying to scramble to his feet.

The blond looked at Kim as she laid squashed under the blue villain, then did a double-take. "KP?! What are you doing under Dra-.."

A flash of green against the side of Ron's head cut him off. A split-second later saw him fall to the floor in a rag doll pile. Above him Shego stood, her finger smoking slightly and victory on her face.

"That's one down!" she crowed. She gave Ron's body a kick. "What'll you do without your buffoon, Kimmie?"

"Shego…!" Kim tried to force herself to her feet, balancing on her only working hand, when she was suddenly unceremoniously lifted into the air. To her frustration it was one of Drakken's vines that had wrapped around her and left her feet dangling in the air. She fought as best she could, but with one hand disabled she was fighting a losing battle.

"The sidekick _broke_ my _arm_!" Drakken exclaimed while wincing and dramatically holding his left forearm.

"Oh, I'm sure you're fine, you baby!" Shego said, swatting at his supposedly broken arm.

There was a sound like something grinding and Drakken let out a sharp cry of pain.

The villainess blinked. "...huh. Okay, maybe he _did_ break your arm."

"I need to go to the hospital!" the blue man whined.

"The resort has on-site medical staff. They'll heal you right up."

"But _it's broken_!"

"A simple break! You just need to have it aligned and immobilized." Shego turned to Drakken and grabbed his chin. Pulling his face down to her level, she asked dangerously, "Are you gonna ruin a bride's honeymoon? _My_ honeymoon? Over something as stupid as a broken arm?" She let go of his chin and lightly rubbed her clavicle. "Princess busted my collarbone and you don't see _me_ whining!"

"You have super healing! It's probably healed up already!" He shifted uncomfortably under her stern gaze and growled, "Nnnnngh…" Stomping his foot, he shouted, "Fine! Let's go on the _stupid_ honeymoon! But you _owe_ me one!"

Shego mockingly waved a hand. "Yeah yeah…"

The entire time the two were chatting Kim was taking stock of what little she had available to her to get out of the sitch. To her disappointment, it was as she feared; all but the most rudimentary of systems in her battlesuit were down. It was little better than padded armor at this point. She couldn't count on any of those gadgets to get her out of this.

But…

She kept some of the smaller spy gear she had on her person still. If she could get her laser lipstick out of her pocket, she could use it to cut herself free of the vine!

It was then that she remembered it was in her right side pocket. Growling in frustration, she started to wiggle her good hand over to her right side to get it. If she could just-..

"So, what about Kim Possible?" Kim momentarily froze as Drakken thumbed at her.

"Same treatment as the buffoon!" A snippet of laughter leapt from Shego's throat as she walked over to Kim. Drakken's vine lowered Kim to the ground but kept her wrapped up. One of Shego's fingers lit up. With a wicked smile Shego put it against Kim's forehead. "Nighty-night, Cupcake!"

The light flashed and heat flooded Kim's head-..

 


	7. A New Average

"..-P-.."

"..-P, K-.."

"..-P! KP! Wake up!"

Kim was disoriented for a few moments as she tried to figure out why Ron was yelling like that. Did she oversleep for her cla-..

Then she remembered. Drakken and Shego, the bi-metal superheat material and the Centurion Project, the fight…

Painfully, head throbbing, Kim unevenly opened her eyes as she tried to take in her surroundings.

To her frustration, she was hanging upside-down from what looked like some of Drakken's vines in the main living area of the lair. Her hands were bound against her back. Kim could feel Ron tied up behind her. Strangely, she felt… Cold?

"Ron!" She tried to turn her head to look at him, but found the best she could do was give him a side eye. Hoping for the best, she asked, "What's going on?"

"Yeah, uh, it's a little funny…" Ron chuckled nervously. "Y'see, apparently Drakken and Shego REALLY wanted to make sure we couldn't follow them. So, erm…"

"'Erm' what?" Kim didn't want to try and guess whatever Ron knew.

"They kinda… Stripped us down to our undies…?"

Kim paused for a second, blinking. "What."

"Yeah, I know! It's totally weird! But look!" Ron flailed behind her in a specific direction. She looked over and, sure enough, their clothes were on the ground against the wall in neatly folded piles.

" _Shego_ …" Kim seethed. The redhead knew, just _knew_ the villainess was the one to have done this. Embarrassing didn't even _begin_ to cover it. The next time she saw Shego…!

"KP, how are we-.. EEEEEE!" Ron began flailing around. "It's in my face! OH GOD IT'S GONNA EAT MY FACE!"

Kim began to flail herself, desperately trying to save her partner. "What is-.."

"There's a bug on my face! A really big one!" the blond cried.

Kim stopped and sighed a breath of relief. "Ron, it's okay. It's just a bug."

"A MAYBE POISONOUS one!"

The hero gave a soft smile that her partner couldn't see and fondly said, "You're so weird…"

"Thank… You…?" Ron's flailing slowed. "Uh, KP? Is it just me, or is that vine looking at us?"

Kim chuckled. Looking around, wondering what Ron was seeing, she noted, "Vines don't have eyes. They can't look-.."

She cut herself off as she found what Ron was talking about. There was what indeed looked like a vine that was staring at them, the flower acting as an eye of sorts. It hovered a few feet under them, studying their reactions.

"Uhm… Hi?" Ron awkwardly said.

It stood still for a moment. Then, swiftly, it withdrew itself to the ground. It then trailed over to the nearby computer console and pushed a few buttons.

The large screen against the wall flickered to life. Kim growled as the smug face of Shego appeared on it.

"Hello Kimmie and Buffoon! If, or should I say when, you're watching this, then congratulations! You were the first to experience the new and improved Drakken/Shego combination!" She winked and smarmily said, "Packed quite a punch, didn't it?" A laugh burst from her mouth. Kim blinked a few times as she finally realized… There were tiny thin scars on either side of the villainess's mouth. Strange. Shego waved a hand in the air as she said, "I'm going to keep this a bit of a brief gloat. The luggage will only eat up so much of Doc's time, after all, and I'm not as into it as Drakken is.

"I suppose you're wondering 'Golly gee whiz, why am I just hanging naked from the ceiling?', right? No sign of doomsday weapons to destroy you, no world-conquering equipment in sight… Rather nerve-wracking?"

Kim blinked a couple of times. Now that Shego said it, it was almost eerie how there wasn't a sign of Drakken's normal world-conquering MO. This would have been a _perfect_ chance to pull one off. Why-..

"That's because of me. Not for _your_ sake." Shego let out a small snippet of villainous laughter. "Nono, it's all for _me_.

"Y'see, Doc and I got things figured out in the last few years. What we wanted - _really_ wanted, not just thought would be the means for it - how to get it, all that stuff. It was a little emotionally raw for my taste, but eh. Gotta do what you gotta do. So!" Shego clasped her hands together excitedly. "We realized that we still wanted to be villains. Not for any sort of reason like 'proving his genius' or 'because I'm evil'. We had _actual_ reasons."

Kim's eyebrows came together. What reasons could have been enough to throw away their pardons and become fugitives again?

Shego paused, looking into the camera with a serious expression. Then her face cracked as a laugh burst from her mouth. "Oh my god! I bet you were watching with bated breath, wondering what they could be! Guess what?" She leaned in conspiratorially to the camera. "You'll never know why."

The redhead snorted and growled. It was _just_ like Shego to do this! Anything and everything she could to annoy Kim!

"But getting back to the point…" Shego put on her game face. "I didn't want to destroy you once and for all, and we certainly don't want to conquer the world! Too much hassle and not what we really want. No, instead, we're going to use you two for our own reasons. Sort of testing ourselves, if you will. Like motivational posters. Really push ourselves to be better. If we want something enough, we can _grind_ you and the monkey into the dirt to get it. Besides…" she carelessly shrugged "...if _another_ villain, like Dementor, conquered the world without you two losers there to take them down, Doctor D would get _really_ pissy. I deal with him like that enough already.

"So we'll all run into each other again. We aren't going to be conquering the world, but there's plenty of _other_ stuff we want to do." Shego looked around then, like she was making sure it was just her and the camera. Then she adjusted the camera so it was zoomed out. It shook for a moment as Shego set it back down. She stayed bent down, however, as she whispered, "Ultimately, the reason I wanted to gloat _at all_ \- and the reason I rigged the coin toss so Doc would be stuck loading the luggage himself - was because I wanted to imagine your _faces_ when you realized where this was all gonna go. Especially considering your earlier reaction about Doc's eye…"

"What's she talking about?" Ron said behind Kim. "Where _what_ is going to go?"

Shego straightened back up and condescendingly said in a childish voice, "Well, kids, when a Mommy and a Daddy _really_ love each other, they have babies! Ugly whiny snotty little things. Used to think it was the _dumbest_ thing ever. Who would _want_ something like that in their lives? But…" Her eyes softened for a second before hardening right back up. Then, shrugging, she noted, "Eh. I guess you just gotta find the right person.

"The only problem was that Drakken was sterile. All the mutations did a number on his system. Of course," she smugly chuckled, "the operative term there is 'was'. Got with DNAmy on that little project and fixed him right up with a pill that I slipped into one of his afternoon cocoa moo drinks. Now, _Doc_ doesn't know that..."

"Oh no…" Kim knew _exactly_ where this was going. Her pity for Drakken increased as she realized...

"...and I'm not gonna tell him. Not yet, anyway. It may sound a little… _Twisted_ , but Doctor D and I have been having a bit of an informal competition. It started off innocuously enough. Enough that we didn't notice at first. But eventually we noticed. I _know_ it's a 'we' because some of this stuff is _obviously_ intentional." A strange smile came to Shego's face. It was similar to the kinds of smiles Miss Go gave Kim back during the reverse polarizer mess. More… Lighthearted. "Reserving a room at a fully-booked resort, forcing us to room together… Modifying my hover car so it can't function outside of a certain radius from him… I stole his bank information for all of his accounts, legit and otherwise, and fully combined our assets… And this!"

Shego brandished her hand and stroked the ring that was bound to it. Kim shivered at the obvious delight the villainess had at their messed-up shows of affection.

"Crafty bastard… I didn't suspect a thing!" A delighted chuckle slipped out between Shego's lips. "That put him in the lead. But _this_ … _My_ plan… Well…" A smug smile stuck itself on Shego's face. "There's _no_ going back from it!"

Kim's eyes widened as she thought-..

_They had to save Drakken_.

Ron had stopped struggling earlier, his attention being fully eaten up by Shego's speech. Once Kim began struggling to get loose, though, he restarted his efforts.

"Call it whatever you want. Reproductive coercion, petty villainy, what have you. All that _matters_ …" a slow vicious smile crossed her face "...is that Doc will _**never**_ get rid of me. Just like how I'll never be rid of him! I just happen to have made myself the _winner_ of our little non-competition."

"That's _horrible_ …" Kim heard Ron utter in disbelief even as they slowly began to work the vines binding their hands.

"We'll make our own little evil family. God, can you _imagine_ how bad Hego will _flip_ when he finds out? That _alone_ will make it worthwhile!"

A crashing noise in the background of Shego's video followed by a cry of frustration made Shego roll her eyes.

"Sounds like my gloating time's almost up. Ah well. It was amusing while it lasted. Gotta admit, I kinda get why Drakken likes doing these so much." Shego reached over to grab the camera. In the background of the video Drakken was stomping over to the villainess, fuming and with his arm in a sling.

"There!" he growled as he got face-to-face with Shego. "I got all your _stupid_ luggage into the hover car." The blue man put his hand on his hip and snarled, "Why did you need all that stuff? Eight different suitcases?!" Vines flailed to accentuate his next point. "I only needed _one_!"

"I need 'all that stuff' for the stay! You _do_ realize that we're staying for _two weeks_ , right?" She tilted an eyebrow at him.

He tilted his right back. "I'm sure they have a place to do laundry!"

"Whatever. If you wanna waste your time _on our honeymoon, at a resort, with_ _ **me**_ , on laundry instead…" Shego gave a very fake unconcerned shrug. "...then I guess that's up to you."

"Nnnnngh…" Drakken's teeth grit together for a few moments before he finally conceded, "Fine! Just fine! I'll… I'll pay someone to do my laundry or something!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Shego chuckled evilly as she aimed the camera at Drakken's face. "Why don't you say 'hi' to our two favorite pains in our rears?"

Drakken blinked, confused. "They're hanging right there." His good hand waved at something off-screen as she set the camera back down. "Why not just wake them up and gloat then?"

"Some things are just better as a little present. Just think of it like this, Doc…" She couldn't keep the malicious glee out of her voice as she noted, "By the time they wake up, get dressed, and rush out of here, it'll be too late! We'll already be long gone, at the resort, sowing a few oats…"

The specific phrasing was painfully obvious to Kim as to what Shego meant. Drakken in the video, on the other hand, obliviously nodded.

"That is true… We could be playing racket ball by then! Or! Oh!" He straightened up excitedly. "What about tennis? That's a resort activity, isn't it?"

"You do remember your arm's broken, right?" Shego pointed out in a manner meant to pop his balloon.

Stubbornly Drakken sprouted a few more vines. "How do you think I got the luggage into the hover car?"

"Badly, and with lots of complaining," his partner snarked.

"Agh!" Drakken rolled his eye. "You're so FRUSTRATING sometimes!"

"I know, right? It's a pretty clear sign that you're crazy that you even want to be with me." There was amusement and condescension in her tone, but Kim inferred a bit of insecurity in it as well.

"Shego…" Drakken said nervously through clenched teeth. "What have I told you about the 'c' word?"

Shego rolled her eyes. Almost in sync, Kim finally freed both hers and Ron's hands from the bindings. Hurriedly, the redhead began working on the vines that were wrapped around their bodies while Ron focused his efforts on their legs. It was slow goings with only one hand, but she was managing surprisingly well.

"Doc, it would surprise me if someone _didn't_ think you were crazy!" The green woman hitched her thumb at Drakken while staring at the camera. "This dope is certified insane. Got the hospital stay to prove it and everything!" As Drakken sputtered and twitched from outrage and what almost looked like fear, Shego theatrically held her ear out at the camera. "Huh? What's that? You aren't surprised and you don't care? Wow!" She straightened up and gave her boss a look. "What a shocker!"

" _Shego_ …" He was growling, but there was a pleading note to it. "Will you please _not_ talk about that?"

"You're too sensitive about it," Shego said, shaking her head. "You need to just relax. You're sick. And there's nothing wrong with that." The villainess smirked at the camera. "Dorkasaurus here needs _five_ different crazy pills to keep from going psycho! Aren't you kids glad that I took this one for the team?"

She traced a finger across her lips. Kim had _no idea_ what Shego was talking about. Seemed more like venting than actual bragging or anything like that.

Drakken made a dramatic strangling motion with both of his hands, wincing from the effort with his left arm, before slumping his shoulders in defeat. "Fine. Okay. You got your gloating in." He stood back up and crossed his good arm into the crook of his other arm. " _And_ you've humiliated me. Are you happy now?"

"Perfectly so."

"So then…" Drakken's voice changed slightly. There was a bit of a rasp to it as he held his good arm out and continued, "Are you ready, Mrs. Go?"

Shego gave him a cocky smile. Hooking her own arm into his, she replied, "Why yes I am, Mr. Go!" She flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked back at the camera. "Ta-ta, Losers! Beat you again next time!"

As the two laughed evilly and began walking away, a vine reached towards the camera. Just before it cut out, the fading voice of Drakken in the background asked, "I still don't get why we had to strip them nearly naked…"

Again, almost as if it were in sync, the video cut off just as Team Possible freed themselves from the vines. Kim flipped to the floor gracefully while Ron fell into a pile.

"No time for joking around, Ron!" She helped him up. Then, as he sheepishly scratched the back of his head, Kim ran over to their things and grabbed her Kimmunicator. In a rush she called up Wade.

Wade's face, slightly pudgy with traces of facial hair here and there, popped up on the screen, his eyes focused on something else. His voice, deeper and more resounding than even just the previous year, greeted her with, "Heya Kim! How did busting Shego and Drakken go?" He looked up at her. Then he did a double-take. "Uh… Kim? Where are your clothes? And why are you so scratched up?"

"Don't have time to explain!" Kim stared hard at Wade. "Can you get me Drakken's cell phone number?"

"I guess…?" Wade started typing at a subdued speed on his keyboard. "Okay." His typing sped up to a blur. "Aaaaand… Got it!" Wade sent the contact information to Kim. "I'm guessing he and Shego managed to sneak away?"

"Not quite." Kim resisted touching the scratches on her cheek or the burns on her belly.

"Yeah, they kinda beat us?" Ron supplied.

Wade froze, then made a face. "What?"

"That _doesn't matter_." Kim pulled her own phone out and put in Drakken's number. "What _does_ matter is saving Drakken from the worst decision he'll ever make in his life."

She then hit 'call'.

**DSDSDSDSDS**

Drakken hummed to himself as he put the last of his clothes into the sleek fancy dresser in his and Shego's honeymoon suite. It was every bit as high-class as he's expected. If anything, it exceeded his expectations! Whether it was because it was their top room or if it was because the resort was _that_ good he didn't know.

Shego had been absolutely right about the doctors at the resort! They had everything needed to tend to their various injuries. Drakken had apparently broken his wrist, not his arm - what difference it made he didn't know - so they slapped on a cast and called it good. He was a little annoyed; with how bulky the cast was he wouldn't be able to put his glove back on. His jacket was fine enough, but without the glove trying to mess around in the lab would be far more dangerous than normal. It seemed like it was a good thing their honeymoon was going to be as long as it was!

_Worthless_

Drakken internally rolled his eyes at the little whisper just behind him and to his right. It was disappointing that even after all the various medications and such, after the ups and downs, balancing and rebalancing, that the best combination they found still left him with annoying little whispers every day or so.

It was fine. He'd been open about all of it with Shego and his doctors. It was considered an unfortunate remnant of his mental illness. They didn't want to mess with it more considering it was mostly under control. No more psychoses, no more bugs. Just whispers. And Drakken could deal with that.

For a moment he considered telling Shego about it. Then he shook his head. Nono, it wasn't anything to bug her about. Just another expected side effect. She seemed to be in a weird mood, anyway. The second they got there she left him to set all her things aside as she took one of her smaller bags into the bathroom and forbade him from following her in.

It was a good thing there was a bathroom in the main lobby.

Just as he pulled out his toiletries bag, the door to the bathroom opened. Good timing!

He turned, intent on giving Shego a hard time. " _Took_ you long enough! What were you doing, making up your ha-.." Drakken stopped short the second his eye landed on her.

Shego was leaning against the doorway, watching him with an expression that could only be described as 'lust'. Her hair was tousled in a way that _had_ to be intentionally messy. Swept up behind her and against the doorframe in fluffy waves. It was a shock to him that that registered at all considering what she was wearing, which blew that _out of the water_.

Lace was what struck in his mind. Intricate lacing danced across her shoulders, her breasts, down her sides, along her thighs… The slip ended just below her hips and hugged her curves all the way there. Through the lace he could see she was wearing underwear that was just as detailed and delicate-looking as the slip. It was see-through enough to give him an idea of what was under there, but covered enough to keep him guessing. The only other thing she was wearing was her wedding ring, which was laying loose along her finger.

"Heya, Doctor D," Shego purred.

Drakken swallowed. "Ah, uhm, Shego! You, you look…" He swallowed again and chuckled, nerves fraying. "I mean, you're, ah… Uhm..."

"'Uhm'?" A proud smirk came to her lips. "My goodness, Doc. If I'd known I could make you speechless just like this, I would've tried it years ago!"

A flash of irritation brought him mostly back to his senses. "Just, just, I'm not sure why you're dressed like that?"

"Well, I was just thinking…" she ran a hand through her hair "...it's our honeymoon." Her head tilted as she asked, "Do you happen to know what most people do on their honeymoons?"

"Erm…" Drakken was considering saying 'play tennis', but he had a feeling it was the wrong answer. Instead, he guessed based on her outfit, "Kissy face?"

Shego gave a short little laugh. "Something like that. But I was thinking a little… Kinkier."

"Ah." He gaped a little, wondering what she meant by 'kinkier'.

"Let's role play a couple trying to conceive," Shego said with a cat-like grin, slowly walking over to him with bedroom eyes.

"Eh?" Drakken tilted his head. Then he laughed a little nervously, struggling to keep his eye from staring too long at his partner's body. "Erm, okay… I guess we can try that?" He rummaged around in his things until he found his condom stash. "Well, I guess we'll-.."

He yelped as the box was blasted to ashes right in his hand.

Waving his hand to cool it down, he growled, "What was _that_ for?!"

"I _said_ we're role playing a couple trying to make a kid," she said slowly, like she was explaining it to a particularly dense person. "Hard to do that while wearing one of those things."

"But… But Shego…" He twiddled his fingers nervously. "I know how paranoid you get about that sort of thing… And my pull-out game is wea-.."

"Doc." She rolled her eyes. "We're gonna pretend that we're trying to have a baby. The risk'll be part of the fun!" Snickering, she noted, "I'm certain _you're_ not worried about it. If by some miracle we _do_ have a kid I'm sure you'd be absolutely thrilled. So why are you complaining?"

Drakken paused, thinking. Well, it was true that he would be happy if he had a child. At the same time, he was old. Very old for being a father. If they ever _did_ somehow manage to conceive… He'd have to find a way to stick around. He knew what not having a dad was like. He wouldn't willingly let the same thing happen to his children if he could help it!

Maybe… Maybe if he modified the Juvenator? It would be a bit of a chore as it was pre-programmed to set one's body to a specific age, but perhaps if he adjusted the-..

A pillow hit the side of his head. Slightly offended, his gaze peevishly jumped to his partner. He couldn't keep up the feeling, though, when he saw how she was looking at him.

Shego was smirking, looking amused with a touch of lust. "You got lost in La-La Land for a minute, Doc. In the middle of a conversation with me. I was considering blasting you, but I didn't want to wreck the mood."

He blinked a couple of times before smiling. Drakken would be the first to admit that getting blasted in the face with a plasma ball, no matter how low the temperature, would have dampened his desire. It was rather considerate of Shego to even think about what he would want! Especially when she _really_ got in the mood.

Speaking of...

Drakken sidled up to Shego and buried his head in her neck. He kissed a few times, up to her jaw and down to her shoulder. His hands wandered down her sides, to the edge of the slip. Slowly, carefully, he lifted it up enough to slide his hands underneath it and up to her hips. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he nuzzled just under her ear.

Then his phone began buzzing. Curious, he pulled his head from Shego's neck and looked at the screen. The number wasn't one he recognized. Strange. Hadn't he put in anti-spam filters on his phone?

He felt a finger place itself on his jawline. It pushed his head back to make him look his partner in the eyes.

"Doc…" She looked at him critically with a hint of offense. "What are you going to do on the first night of your honeymoon? Take random phone calls from unknown numbers? Or have some _amazing_ sex with your wife?"

Drakken blinked, then gave her an evil smirk. There was absolutely no contest.

A vine popped into existence and reached for the phone. It grabbed the small device and chucked it away. Drakken didn't know where it landed, nor did he care.

Happily, letting out a little sigh of contentment, Shego settled back onto the bed as Drakken began to unbutton his jacket. He paused as he looked at Shego. His wonderful beautiful delightfully irritating partner.

He smiled brightly and sighed in pleasure. This… This world. With his plans, and his inventions, and his Shego…

It was his. All his. And nothing could take it away.


End file.
